Sunday, June 26, 2005

Tell me on a Sunday

Had a pretty bad morning and been kinda depressed lately. Work and other things have really almost bitch slapped me, and my esteem is low. To be a gemini tho at this moment I'm feeling better. I took 2 Excedin and they have kicked in. Yesterday the bed came and the poor delivery guys... it's so much bigger then I remember! When they first put it together in the spot I picked for it, the bedroom door wouldn't close... then they couldn't put the metal canopy on top because of the gay track lighting in my room would be in the way. I told them after they were here for over 2 hours trying to get it to work in the room that I would figure something out later. They left and my hell began. The bed in my mind must weigh close to 1000 pounds I'm guessing. It's solid as fuck. And here I am taking it apart to try to move it around. Oh, and to make matters worst the dresser (which is 6 drawers) doesn't come apart. The drawers are stuck in it. So it must weigh a shit load. My room was a mess and nothing seemed to be fitting at all anymore. After about 3 hours at this point (and about 7 hours of physical none stop labor early prepping the room) and a loss of 90% of my water weight I got the room managable, and afterwards some of the worst pain I have ever had on my back. I was stiff as a board yesterday. I can move about ok today, although a few hours again I had a sharp pain and suddenly thought to myself 'I hope I'm not having a heart attack!'. So I took some pills and now they have kicked in.

After all the hard work it has paid off. The room looks amazing. Without a doubt one of the nicest bedrooms I have ever stepped foot into. I'm proud and it looks like a room out of MTV's Cribs. I can't wait to have company over to show it off.

This morning I lost a piece of my heart but I'm not gonna talk about it here. I'm depressed and trying to forget so that I can move on. I hope tomorrow is a new and better day.

I need to find a hobby so that I can focus on other things and get out. Maybe go and take pictures of the mountains.. play piano (keyboard at the apartment, but I have a piano waiting at my mom's for when we move to a more permanant location). Pianos are a bitch to move.. not sure if the bed is worst or not, LOL.

I'm random right now... I'll post some pics really soon of the new room. I took them tonight, but I'm being lazy about uploading them :-P

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Birthday Love

I had a nice birthday weekend. I was sorta hush hush about things because it's the big 3 1 . Took 2 days off of work so I had a 4 day weekend, and Chuck and I hung out together. It was really nice, but I gotta say I'm having a really hard time with this I love you thing. I said it the other day and apparently I said it again a few minutes later and Chuck came out with "Billy, you just said it 5 minutes ago!". I was kinda hurt by that. But he was right. I'm having a hard time remembering not to say it as much.

I read all of your comments (I couldn't believe how many I got on that post!), and all of them I took in. I hope Chuck isn't falling out of love with me, or feel uncomfortable when I say it. I'm guessing I just start getting on his nerves that I say it so often. Doesn't that sound weird though? I mean I know guys out there who would love to hear those words with meaning behind them, and here my BF tells me I'm saying it to much. I'm often tempted to use Spencer's question "You don't like hearing that from me?".. but I know him well enough to know his reaction would be "You just say it all the time..."

I'm having a shitty day at work. My group got yelled at for failing an audit. The sad part about it is that none of it is our fault. If we were told to do things correctly the first time around none of this would have happened and we wouldn't have failed. Basically we were told to do things one way, and not until very recently we were told that it was the wrong way to do it. So I feel the blaim should not be put on us. My manager even had the nerve to say "This is going to hurt your next performance apprasels". I almost wish that I could go to someone and let them know that we are getting screwed for something that was beyond our control.

Luckily the weekend is almost here. We should get the bed this weekend too (hopefully). But with the way my luck has been lately I'll probably get screwed some how there too.

At least I had a great past weekend and some wonderful memories to last a lifetime. Hope life is going well for you all out there in cyberland.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Gayday vs Gaydays

I didn't realize there were 2 different groups of Gaydays out there doing things at Disney World. But in a way I'm sure this all had some drama behind it. This has now passed but I thought it was interesting how the 2 groups schedule seperate activities from each other. So which one is better??? And what a name "Doug Swallow" LOL

Here is a clip from

For the 15th consecutive year, Gay Day is being held at Walt Disney World. As has been the case in recent years, two competing groups will be holding events this year. However, this time they will be hosting events in different parks on the same day.

Doug Swallow, who originated the event back in 1991, has listed the following park schedule on his (singular) site:

Thursday, June 2 – Disney–MGM Studios, Cirque du Soleil
Friday, June 3 – Golf at Eagle Pines course, Epcot, late–night Typhoon Lagoon
Saturday, June 4 – Islands of Adventure, late–night Disney–MGM Studios
Sunday, June 5 – Magic Kingdom
Monday, June 6 – Disney's Animal Kingdom
Many other events are listed on that site. The event headquarters is at the Wyndham Palace resort on Hotel Plaza Boulevard.

Chris Alexander–Manley, who arguably turned Gay Day(s) into a major event starting in 1998, lists the following park events on his (plural) site:

Thursday, June 2 – Disney's Animal Kingdom
Friday, June 3 – Disney–MGM Studios, late–night Typhoon Lagoon
Saturday, June 4 – Magic Kingdom, late–night Disney–MGM Studios
Sunday, June 5 – Epcot

I thought this was kinda cute...

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

No more "I love yous"

Got a question and really want to know how you all feel... Do you believe that you can say "I love you" so much that it loses it's meaning? I've had this issue with Chuck because I tend to say it frequently. He has told me that I say it to often and it loses it's meaning because of that. It's hard to hold back from saying it sometimes, but I'm trying. I can respect him by not saying it as much since he feels that way.

And I'm not trying to say it's right or wrong in this post. Just wanna get the opinion of others. I would just say it whenever I felt it, LOL... so I guess I felt it often.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Ass holes like this...

need to be shot... I was called by my ex Kevin a few weeks ago telling me my picture was on a big gay website of profiles for hung guys. He couldn't remember the exact link that day, but he called me to worn me that he saw my pic and asked why I was posting such a profile since I had Chuck. I told him I didn't have anything like that up and it was probably somebody pretending to be me. This isn't the first time this has happened, and I'm sure it won't be the last.

A few days ago I talked with Kevin again and found out the link was . So I went there and sure enough there was my pic, and it stating "Below are just a few of the hot hung guyz with personal ads on our site". So I wrote the website owners and got this responce...

Here is the email address associated with that photo & ad profile: and the guy states that he is located in Chicago, IL.

Does that email address belong to you?

Please advise.

Jim and Patrick
Your Webhosts

Personal Ads For
Well Endowed Men:

Ofcourse it doesn't.. so I wrote the guy and did some research. The guy is 29 years old and here is his real picture that I googled...

I told him he needs to stop this shit. I could say something very mean right now, but I'll hold my thoughts to myself. I will say this is pathetic that people like this have to use my pictures. Enough said.

Thankfully they have taken it down ...
We have removed the photo and personal ad in question from our site and from our
database permanently. This our standard policy any time we receive an email like
this. As you know, we have no way of knowing who may send us a fake photo.

Jim and Patrick
Your Webhosts

Personal Ads For
Well Endowed Men:

His 1st Huge Cock - Gay

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Spencer, Scott, Rob, Steve, Ethan and Mark.. the New New testament

Lately I've been reading a lot of blogs. Some new, some old. And while I gotta express I don't know Mark personally, I've always enjoyed his comments he leaves on my blog. Actually not to sound like I'm favoring anybody here, I love everyone's comments. I can always count on one being left by a few of you (Spencer, Scott, Rob, Steve, Ethan....and the list goes one and on) and I enjoy that.

So with some free time I read Mark's past blogs and came to one of the first ones where he introduces his partner. All I could say as I read it all was "AWWWWWWWWWW". I wanna wish you both luck, and wish all my readers happiness like this... read a clip:

I met my partner Joe (that's his real name - not Howard - but thanks for playing
along Michael) in the summer of 1996 and we have been together since. We are
very much a 'together' couple; we do everything together. We go to the grocery
store together, we go to family and office functions together, etc. We don't
have 'my friends' and 'his friends' - we have 'our friends'. But it's that way
because we like it that way, not because we're trying to fit into some
conventional design of what an ideal couple should be. Despite the way it might
look, we are not trying to mirror married straight couples. We're just living
our lives together as we feel comfortable. And even though we are not legally
married, we very much FEEL married and committed to each other.

You can check out Mark's blog here. Great posts... read movie reviews, you find out how he is a Dominant ;), and how he protects the vows of Valentine's Day.

And as for the many other blogs that I have listed, I hope to get to you all soon enough. You all do an amazing job and have me entertained. And that's the point right? Well, at least part of it. I think another part of blogging which I know you all know I do this.. is venting.

Now if only some of you *hint hint* (there is more then one of you out there reading this right now without a picture) would put a picture up so that we could see the person behind the posts... not that I want to see you :-P .... but it's more like curiosity because I feel like I know everything about you all... and yet have no face to put it to.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Bathroom peep show

Yes I'm one of those people that has problems using urinals. So I usually try to get a toilet stall whenever possible. Anyways I was sitting on the toilet doing my business and noticed that the person next to me isn't feeling to well. You can hear the moans and noises being made that just didn't sound pretty.

First off, I hate being in this situation... I mean I feel bad for the person yet in a way I feel like laughing. On a positive note the person kept on flushing their toilet which made it easy for me to push with all my might and get out of there as fast as possible without anybody hearing me.

As I was getting ready to leave I heard.. "Oh no, that's the end of the toilet paper!" Boy do I know what that is like, we all do... so I tossed under the stall the extra roll that seemed to be in mine over to him. I heard a "Thanks!" and right as I was getting up to leave and pull up my pants I see these eyes pearing at me from above over the stall wall. I about jumped a mile! He politely said "You must have been sent from the gods. Thanks."

"You're welcome" I replied... but thought in my head 'I wonder what crack he is on'. You don't just go pearing over a stall like that in a business work place. I mean I'm used to it in gay clubs, but not here. ;)

Although looking back on it I was happy I could help him out, since I know being without TP can be an awful feeling when you really need some. One of the worst in my mind.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Lutheran wow....

Before I get into the next post I wanted to say thanks to the comments on the last one. Mark brought up a really good point that got me thinking about how some guys will settle for open relationships in order to keep their partner. Also thanks to Kiksta, he wrote me an e-mail and wasn't upset about me saying what I wanted to say. On a side note I thought it might be interesting how they make it look like Brian (I think that is his name) might have AIDS/HIV from that fooling around. How ironic is that?

Ok now on to the post....

I grew up in the Lutheran church. When I tell people this and tell them how liberal they are towards gay people I get funny looks. Most can't believe that a Lutheran church would welcome gay people. Even in the 80's growing up at this church there was a openly gay couple that attended services every week and I can't think of anybody who didn't welcome that couple like anybody else. Well to them I say "HA!! I told you!" ;)

Taken from mesouthern's blog and

Wisconsin Lutherans Oppose Gay Marriage Amendment
May 16, 2005

(Madison, Wisconsin) Opposition is growing to a proposed amendment to the Wisconsin Constitution that would ban same-sex marriage.
Now, one of the state's biggest churches is speaking out against the measure which would not only bar gays and lesbians from marrying but also prohibit civil unions.
The South-Central Wisconsin Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America has voted to oppose the amendment.
The Synod includes 13 counties and 150 congregations....

Thursday, June 02, 2005

QaF and comment

Ok, from one of the comments on the past post I have to comment back and wonder...

"It would be like a Brian/Justin (from QaF) relationship, where sex itself is allowed, but only a one-fuck policy. The cock may go wherever it wants to, but the heart should stay at home."

Sorry Kiksta, while you have your opinion on it, I gotta wonder if this is healthy in more ways then one. First you gotta think about diseases and such when you fuck around. Also don't you think it'll hurt your pride some if your partner can't find satisfaction in what you give him only?

I know I may lose some people in this post because I'm not a fan of this type of thinking. I'm also not a fan of QaF. Just because it happens on a TV show doesn't make it a good thing. Honestly I think QaF while it may be a big hit, it protrays gay people in a negative light. Makes us all look like whores or something and that we can only really associate with other gay people. My ex Dre and my hubby Chuck both like the show a lot, so I gotta watch what I say about it. But I will say of the many episodes I have seen, I have yet to watch one without naked people having sex in it. Now how come I can watch all the years of Seinfeld/Star Treks/_______ (insert name here) and never see naked people having sex on that? I know I shouldn't compare those shows, they really are different. But I'm just saying I really wish they would stop being so fucking obsessed with fucking, and actually throw in some good plots! Are they really that lazy not to think of things to take up those minutes otherwise? I mean does someone sit there and say... "George we got 5 minutes to fill, lets play a random song and show them dance at a club half naked to appeal towards gay men... that should waste a few minutes... OH and put in a sex scene in there. Great, now we have a full episode worth".

Ok, now back to Kiksta for a second. Kik I ain't trying to preach to you really.. I just wanted to speak my mind on this in general. I really feel that having open relationships like that isn't good for the mind or the body. Sure you may get 2 hours or more of great sex with someone new and different.. but the outcome isn't really all that great if you look at the big picture. Why do that to your partner? The one person who wants to stay by you till the end... but nah.. it's ok to fuck around on him, cuze he'll always be there. Honestly I think in the long run he won't be there. Who wants to be in a relationship where their partner says, "I want to have sex with other people". Isn't that a low blow? Isn't that just like saying "You are not enough to satisfy me." Sex for me at least isn't something you share with everyone, but should be between someone you LOVE... and with one fucks while you get your nut off, I just don't think it's nessecary to share that with everyone in your neighborhood. It's one thing that should be special, shouldn't it?

Who knows, maybe I'm barking up the wrong tree here, maybe I'm to old fashioned... maybe I just grew up...