Annoyed

Chuck and I had an argument last night about something stupid, but I think I got so mad about it because it was an underlying issue that was brought to surface yet again.

I was watching the special on TV about the author of Harry Potter. She was saying she was happy and Chuck said something like "I'm sure she is with all that money she has", and I responded "I'm sure she is especially with this new movie that just came out and how well it's doing".

Well, after a moment had passed he brought up that one of his facebook friends had started a group about how shitty the new movie was and that it's not the best of the series and sucks compared to the book. I said I probably wouldn't agree with his friend and Chuck should look up rottentomatoes.com and see what the critics have to say on it. Because I read that it's the best of the series and a greatt film to book transfer (with a few critics liking the movie more then the book). Yes I know, logic tells you that the book is always better, but I'm just saying what I had read.

Well Chuck would not leave me alone about the whole deal about how his group has many followers and nothing compares to the book. Pushing my every button about the matter.

What I wanted to do is bring up rottentomatoes.com and show him what I was talking about. He just wouldn't take me at my word. It seemed his friend knew what he was talking about and I didn't. Which brings up the annoying issue... Chuck can't seem to just listen sometimes and apprecaite what I have to say. We can agree to disagree, but don't keep going on about it and try to push every button you can in the process for a debate. It seems he usually doesn't take my word for things anyways. Sometimes it ends up that he should have and I get to say "I told you so!". Although I normally don't rub it in that much.

Now I haven't seen the movie yet so I can't say this from personal experience, but I think that if enough critics say it, I would think it is so. Chuck hates a lot of things I enjoy like Harry Potter and Disney, so I think he does it to try to show me how "evil Disney is" or how lame Harry Potter is. I almost think he is trying to change my mind about how I should view these things, but that ain't gonna happen! Disney is a love of mine for MANY reasons. Mostly a lot of great memories in my life that I'm taking to my grave. Both with the movies and the theme parks I have a chance to feel like a kid and be happy and joyful about it all.

So without further ado here are some qoutes about Harry Potter from critics in case Chuck ever decides that listening to me might be ok from time to time...

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is the franchise's best so far - Associated Press

Unlike most film series, the Potter movies haven't weakened along the way - Star Tirbune

Harry is better than ever, a triumph of visual wonder and emotional storytelling - Rolling Stone

Half Blood Prince is one of his most successful adaptations to date - Sky Movies

Too deep into the saga to win over any Potter virgins, this is payback for those who've followed the series from the start, with some of what was best about the books finally making a comfortable transition to screen - Channel 4 Film

The strangest thing about the new Harry Potter movie is not that it’s unusually good, which it is, but that it unequivocally illustrates just how poorly we’ve been served by the previous five instalments in the franchise - UK Times

The Half-Blood Prince is so great that it nudges out The Goblet Of Fire as the best Potter movie - Sun Online

it comes close to capturing on film some of the texture and richness of Rowling's books - Scotsman

This was a fantastic adaptation of an excellent book, and well worth your time and money - Cinerina

Who would have thought, after five movies and so much hype, that the sixth Harry Potter movie would be better than most of its predecessors? - Morning Herald

the Empire Strikes Back of the Harry Potter series, and it's possibly the best film in the whole lot - 7M Pictures

The peak film in the franchise... from the acting, to the writing, to the production design to the cinematography, which is so unbearably lovely that I can't even quite stand it - Antagony & Ecstasy

definitely the best of the series and is easily the one summer blockbuster that delivers everything Potter fans could expect and more - MD Gazette

Like the Prince himself, David Yates crosses out portions of J.K. Rowling's text in favor of his own ideas. This produces the best magic to date - Seacoast Newspapers

It's taken them six movies to find it, but at last here is Harry Potter's Empire Strikes Back - CinemaBlend

That Half-Blood Prince stays true to Rowling's downbeat, morose vision is a testament to the integrity of this franchise and the fortitude of its fans - AMCtv

Six films in, it almost feels like it's booting up a new-and-improved, darker, earthier, more grown-up and visually sophisticated trilogy - Oregonian

Half-Blood Prince shows the Potter film franchise and Rowling's story are in very good hands indeed - Mercery News

It all starts with the books of course, but perhaps it is time to recognize the Potter films for the impressive franchise that it, too, has become - The Movie Minute

Mean moody and magnificent, this is perhaps the best yet of the Harry Potter series - Daily Mirror

An impressive film that stands out as the jewel in the Potter crown - Heart 106.2

This is absolutely the best of the Harry Potter films so far - HitFix

For fans both of the films and the books, this is an elegant addition to the canon - Daily Telegraph

"Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" is the most balanced Harry Potter film to come along... - Daily Radar

I have to say, this was the most satisfying book-to-film transfer of them all. It never felt rushed. They took time to tell the story. The effects were wonderful, but not overdone. With a few exceptions, they included the major plot points from the book - JoBlo's Movie Emporium

Yes I like to make my point! :P While I don't have the time to read every review and find the crtics that liked the movie more (I know I've read that), I think the above shows what I was trying to accomplish with what I was telling him.

It's been almost 2 years

I doubt anybody is reading this blog anymore. I have a lot of great stuff written on here and I still get statistics that people are accessing the blog daily... but part of me thinks that is because of the blog title. People search for porn, and my blog comes up in that :P Once they see what it is, they just move on to the next link.

A few things got me motivated enough to update this. Chuck said he still visits my blog from time to time to see if I have anything new to say. Also, I visited a friend of mine's blog this morning and read a very emotional entry. So I thought ok, I really should update this in case anybody does really care.

I definitely won't go into the last 2 years of my life to catch you up. I'll just tell you I'm doing well. I recently had my 35th (frown) birthday. Another day older... another year closer to death :( I was recently told I still have a job with the company I work for. I had several months there were it was a major issue again. Not sure whether they still need me during the process, and they let about 800 people go so far and they are still making cuts. The economy sucks so I'm glad I still have some security during this time.

I went on two wonderful trips in the past few months. One to New York City and another to Canada. I loved Canada. The people just seem so much more relaxed there and open minded. Very friendly as well. I take my hat off to them.

My relationship with Chuck is going well. We still have some ups and downs like most couples. I was afraid it might have been over while I was gone in NYC. I friend had given me information about what he was up to while I was away. I wasn't happy about it, but we have worked through that and I hope it doesn't happen again. I will say the friends that hung out with him during this time should have kept a better eye on things. To this day I'm kind of sour about that. I wish I could tell you the story, but in the best interest of our relationship I think it's best not to air the "dirty laundry" that much. I know this is my blog/journal, but it's also an online one. I would love to say 'this (insert name) person is a cunt'... but that wouldn't be very professional of me, lol

I just recently cleared up a lot of credit issues I had. I pulled out money from my job savings account and put part of that money towards paying off my debts. I'm happy to say things are really looking up in that area. My only regret is that I didn't do this sooner. I was tired of getting turned down for certain things and really needed to do it so that I can buy a house in the future. Now I just need to start saving up again for a deposit on a home. Part of me is being drawn towards that, while another part of me is being drawn into getting a new car. I have 125,000+ miles on my current one and Chuck's car isn't in good shape at all. So I had thought about giving him mine since I have kept mine like new and getting a new one. Especially since prices are really good right now for buying one. I'm just not sure what I should actually do next. It's tough being torn on this.

Well I might start getting back into blogging. If I do it won't be as often as I started out doing. Until next time, if anyone is reading this you take care.

At last...

Wow, it's been a long time.

It's odd that I still get e-mailed weekly about people looking at this blog. I haven't really had much desire in writing to it lately. I do want to apologize for not keeping this up to date for those people that care.

I'm doing pretty well these days. I now have a few things that take up my time to enjoy life a little better. I recently bought a new 50" plasma HDTV. It's amazing and while I do miss the HD projector I had, and it's 108" screen. I don't miss that I had to close the curtains and the room to be dark to watch it. This new TV looks amazing and it definitely puts a smile on my face. Especially since you know how much of a TV addict I can be.

I also now have a Wii. Very enjoyable. I actually play it a lot more then my xbox 360. The games just seem to be cooler to play because of the neat interaction with the remotes. So yeah, I've been stuck playing a lot more video games.

Also, Netflix has kept me entertained. Tons of gay movies, and movies in HD DVD that I saw years ago but want to now see in High Def instead.

Time has been eaten up by these. And of course Chuck. Yes we are still together and things have settled down on the issues I had in our relationship. Less flirting as well ;)

So life has been pretty good for me. I do still have some issues (an example is I will be losing my job in Feb. due to the company I worked for for 10 years is moving our department to Texas, and I don't want to move). Also I miss a few people that I had in my life at one point. Just wondering how they are doing. And currently I have a hell of a sun burn that I can't wait till it stops being painful. Also Chuck calling Chris (my best friend), my other boyfriend is getting really old. I hope he takes the hint because I have starting doing the same with him and his friend Joey. Chris and I have never been together, we are only best friends. But for some reason Chuck is jealous of him and must call him my "other boyfriend". I should probably not care, but I do because this makes me not want to talk to Chris to hear that from Chuck. Also I have a few new friends in my life that I could see hanging out with, but I'm a little worried that Chuck will get jealous of them too. So I don't even mention them. So yeah, there are issues ;)

Not sure what else to tell you though, but at least I posted a new one right? ;) I'm well, and I hope you all are too.

Flirting...

I don't have a lot to say on this, wikipedia does a good job at it I think (as does the others)...

Flirting is a form of human interaction, usually expressing a sexual or romantic interest in the other person. It can consist of conversation, body language, or brief physical contact. It may be one-sided or reciprocated.

Flirting is often used as a means of expressing interest and gauging the other person's interest in courtship, which can continue into long term relationships. Alternatively, it may simply be a prelude to casual sex with no continuing relationship. A person who takes flirting to the opposite extreme is often considered promiscuous or a slut.

In other situations, it may be done simply for immediate entertainment, with no intention of developing any further relationship. This type of flirting sometimes faces disapproval from others, either because it can be misinterpreted as more serious, or it may be viewed as "cheating" if the person is already in a romantic relationship with someone else.

People who flirt may speak and act in a way that suggests greater intimacy than is generally considered appropriate to the relationship (or to the amount of time the two people have known each other), without actually saying or doing anything that breaches any serious social norms. One way they accomplish this is to communicate a sense of playfulness or irony. Double entendres, with one meaning more formally appropriate and another more suggestive, may be used.

Phychology Today tells this on a study of flirting:

This much is clear so far: flirting is nature's solution to the problem every creature faces in a world full of potential mates-how to choose the right one. We all need a partner who is not merely fertile but genetically different as well as healthy enough to promise viable offspring, provide some kind of help in the hard job of parenting and offer some social compatibility.

Our animal and human ancestors needed a means of quickly and safely judging the value of potential mates without "going all the way" and risking pregnancy with every possible candidate they encountered. Flirting achieved that end, offering a relatively risk-free set of signals with which to sample the field, try out sexual wares and exchange vital information about candidates' general health and reproductive fitness.

"Flirting is a negotiation process that takes place after there has been some initial attraction," observes Steven W. Gangestad, Ph.D., an evolutionary psychologist at the University of New Mexico in Albuquerque who is currently studying how people choose their mates. "Two people have to share with each other the information that they are attracted, and then test each other" on an array of attributes. Simply announcing, 'I'm attracted to you, are you attracted to me?' doesn't work so well. "It works much better to reveal this and have it revealed to you in smaller doses," explains Gangestad. "The flirting then becomes something that enhances the attraction."

It is an axiom of science that traits and behaviors crucial to survival-such as anything to do with attraction and sex-require, and get, a lot of an animal's resources. All mammals and most animals (including birds, fish, even fruit flies) engage in complicated and energy-intensive plots and plans for attracting others to the business of sex. That is, they flirt.

Social issues research Centre says this:

Clearly, it makes sense to exercise a degree of caution with people who are married or attached... couples differ in their tolerance of flirtatious behaviour, and it is important to be alert to signs of discomfort or distress.

Ann Landers said this about flirting in an article in the Post:

Does it not subliminally indicate that you are interested in other people? I don't understand where people try to act like it doesn't mean anything. If your in a serious relationship and your partner is constantly seeking the attention of the opposite sex then how does that show people he's content and happy with his current relationship? People could interpret that the relationship is vulnerable. Part of being in a relationship is letting your partner feel like you are committed and letting everyone else know it too. Isn't that part of honoring and respecting the commitment?

NEW POST - about time right?

Well, Thought I would write since I haven't written in a while. First, to one of the comments on my last post. HB Jock, not to be mean, but no. Confidence comes from within, you can't let others give you confidence. If so, it's not the type you should have because one day you won't be getting those remarks and then what? Plus, going to the extreme of telling someone that you wished they weren't married is I think over board.

You are entitled to your opinion, and I'm entitled to mine. But since this is my blog I feel free to express how I feel. I read your comment and have to think you are one of those guys that would sleep with anybody. And may have a lack of self esteem yourself and are looking for others to tell you "Hey, thanks for the compliment. You are also hot…" . There is no need to be expressing to someone who is happy and married the need to tell them they are hot and wish they weren't married, unless you are after something else yourself. Whether it be just for your own self esteem boast, someone else's, sex, or a relationship. That type of self esteem won't get you very far down the line. You need to find it from within. So if you want to be polite then just talk about normal things… like sports, weather, games, music, movies, clubs… The list is endless. So that should be enough to actually become friends with someone if they are married, without being stupid and jumping bounds and talking about how hot they are. Unless you are not intelligent enough to hold a regular conversation.

I actually agree more with anonymous, because hot or not is for people who want to look at pictures and find other "hot" people. So it may be more natural to get those kind of remarks on a site like that. But his profile is clear about only wanting friends… just that some people don't read… and others are to dumb to think twice before speaking.

Ok, now that I expressed my opinion on that….

Things have been ok, could be better. Chuck lost his job so money has been tight and Christmas kind of gloomy because I can't currently go out and shop for presents for everyone. He did get a new job, so I'm hoping that works out ok. My next paycheck should have a bonus in it, and he'll get his first check from his new job the same day… so things should start looking up at that point. I'm just not looking forward to battling the crowds since I've waited so long. My job has been a pain because it's the year end, so the amount of work we have to get in by the end of the year is insane, and it's pushing me to my limits.

I've had a few more issues mainly with an ex of Chuck's that wants him back. This ass hole lied to Chuck, then lied to me… then we both saw he was lying. So Chuck made up a rule that we shouldn't talk to any of our ex's. The only 2 that I sort of talked with was Dre and Kevin. But I don't speak to them much, so they don't really care I'm sure.

Things as you can see have been stressful. I feel like bitching at the world so don't get me mad ;)

I've become bitter at certain people and things because I almost feel like I've gotten nothing but shit lately. But I can say I still have enough self esteem without someone telling me I'm hot ;)

Well, lets hope I blog again soon, and have something much better and happier to talk about and say.

Foley's Follies

You can't judge a book by it's cover, but you can judge it by it's other attributes.

I was listening to the radio and they were talking about the Foley case. I'm sure you all know all about it so I won't go into details. What I found interesting was that a lot of parents called into the show and have recently (due to Foley) talked to their kids about the internet and how you can't trust people on it. What may seem one way, actually is another. A parent said since her kid was young she started by telling the kid about not all dogs that wag their tails are nice. She told her child that any dog that may look friendly enough could actually surprise a person with a bite or worst. And people are the same way. They may seem innocent and friendly and then in reality could be after something entirely different.

People can tell you anything on the internet and we then choose to believe them or not. Now it's pure guessing on my part, but in the past I've talked to a lot of people online. Knowing what I've heard about them later on… or their true colors come out later they usually ended up lying about one thing or another. I can't say this about everyone because there are good people out there. But I've been through most of the drama before and people do lie. Hell I've seen several guys even pretend to be me using my pictures and info so that I guess they could get their rocks off because they don't like they way they are (question)… they must really be some sad people with themselves.

People (including me) can be very naive about what is going on.

So to all of you out there be careful and keep at least one eye open. I wish people wouldn't completely trust when they start talking to someone and be overly friendly until they really start to know the person they are dealing with. I know that sounds harsh, but in these times we almost need it to some degree.

On a slightly different note, my husband Chuck got a nice little note the other day from someone from hotornot. His profile is very clear about him only wanting to make friends and he already has someone. This guy writes him and says "you are really cute, wish you weren't married". Now why did this guy click yes then? It's obvious what he was after. He wasn't trying to be friends but rather his first thought and note (which should have been along the friends line) to Chuck was more like "Hey you're cute… wish you weren't married because I would like to do you.. And now that I have said this you at least know I think this way and maybe tell me if I have a chance.. At least you know and the option is out there". He didn't say all of that, but gay guys are easy reads sometimes. He had no interest in just being friends if he states that he wishes Chuck wasn't married.

This example sort of fits in to the whole blog because if you keep that eye open you can ask yourself "Why did this person say that.. Or react this way?" Don't just read the words, but really read it. I seriously doubt a guy that wants to be just my friend is going to start out a conversation with anything like "You're cute, gorgeous, or hot", and especially then say "I wish you weren't married". There is more they are after. They made an effort to choose those words.

So getting back to the Foley, while he did these bad things I do have to say that some of these kids that he talked to should have seen it coming with some of the things Foley said. I'm not going to say what Foley did was right at all. But if the kids had a little internet savvy they may have seen it coming and either ignored him or said they had no interests. But I have a feeling some of them loved the attention or drawn to his power which got them in that bad situation.

Friends and gas

Thought I would say Happy Birthday to Dre. Getting old there... I feel like what was it.... 19 again?? ;)

It seemed like whenever I went out with Dre people thought I was much younger then I was. And that is nothing against Dre, he just picked dark places to go I think LOL

But even though we don't speak to each other much anymore I still have a connection with him that I don't have with many others.

On the gas note... saw on the news that gas is a $1.95 a gallon in Gainesville VA. In a way it's sad that gas is so high in price still, yet we think it's a great price since it isn't $3.00 anymore. I swear the oil companies have a conspiracy going on. Around Dre's birth though oil prices quadrupled doing the oil crisis. Any relation with each other? We'll never know.

Pirates life for me...

Just got done watching some Wife Swap show dealing with a family of pirates. How crazy is that?!

I'm doing well, tired as hell and should be in bed with my baby. Going any second now after I finish this. Just felt like I had to say something here. Especially after I posted that funny YouTube clip, and guess what.. like a few hours later it was yanked off You Tube!! I was pissed and it wasn't anything that bad. Just one of those old time movies that addressed masturabation. You know those old films they show at driving school or science class? The kind where the lady is giving birth, yet has a jungle between her legs and wearing granny panties and the colors are way off and has the dirt floating from frame to frame.... and say "GEE WEEZ! Look at that strapping baby boy! Billy Joe is ready for his first outing in his new baby blue bonnet..." Ok, can't you tell I'm tired?

Gas prices are going down.. YAY! I got tired of paying $3.15 a gallon. We got a Costco membership, so I'm happy to report gas for me was just $2.35 last weekend. And I don't want to hear how you got gas for $2.05 in your area :-P

I got an e-mail tonight to review a DVD/CD... Yanni Live! They are sending it to me, and I'm supposed to give a little impression of it on this blog. Is this blog that popular? ;) Really though, I was very surprised by that.

Weird things have been happening in this respect. I got accepted to be a major beta tester for the evil (only kidding) Microsoft Vista. I'm loving it! The only problem is, I have a 64bit processor and not many vendors have written drivers for a 64 bit system.

I was written by Disney to beta test an upcoming game. That's all I can say about that due to legal reasons. Except for those who don't know it I beta tested several games for Disney in the past. Tron 2.0 and there whole Ultimate Ride series were the two biggest. My name is in the credits.

And can you believe I'm about to hit 100,000 views on this page? That's insane! I never thought I would get even close to that number! I can't believe it's been viewed that much. I don't know what to say, but thank you for reading. I hope someone out there thinks I was entertaining at least at some point ;)

I haven't said much lately, and most lately I've been complaining so I thought I would make this a lighter post.

Hope all of you are doing well!

Spank the monkey!

Got a good laugh out of this...

Pluto, Chris, and Dre

Pluto not a planet anymore? What is this world coming to? Discrimination against a ball of mass like that! I heard this morning it was removed from the category of a planet since it has no life forms and no atmosphere. Doesn't make that much sense since I don't think we know if any other planets truly have life forms.

Anyways, weird or not I was upset with this. I grew up my whole life telling me it was a planet. That would be like saying, "By the way, you know milk is good for the bones and body… well it isn't!".

Not much new news to tell you all about. I think one of our security guards at work likes me. We have a rotation of them. I think there is a little army of them since we only see the same one about once every 2 weeks. The one today greeted me with a huge "Hey, how are you?!" (with his thump up in the air and a big smile). I smiled back thinking nothing of it and said "I'm fine, how are you?". In response he said "I'm great!" and then winked at me. At first I thought he didn't wink and maybe I took it as one by mistake. Well I went out with my coworker on a break a few moments ago and as we were leaving he said "Hope you have a great day!" to us both and then winked again. My coworker turned to me and said "He either has something in his eye, or he just winked at us". I had to tell her that I think he winked and gave me a thumbs up when I walked into the door. Well we paid more attention after the break as we walked by him coming back in. "I'm glad you are back!" came out of his mouth. She turned to me and said, he must have the hots for you.

Oh and to Dre and Chris… I left my phone on Pluto… actually no I didn't. You just either catch me at a bad time (especially Chris), or once I'm around Chuck I have a hard time talking with you guys since I think he gets jealous of it. While I definitely get jealous from time to time with him, I haven't fussed about him talking to his friends like Chris and Mike. I'm sorry you guys. Chris, we gotta hang out again soon. And Dre, I swear I'll call you at some point. I feel really bad about this. :(

It's gotten to the point where is says "Your other BF is calling you", or "Aren't you gonna hang out with your other BF Chris this weekend?"…. Sure he may be kidding, but someone once told me behind every joke is a little truth. So in his mind maybe he actually thinks Chris could be a boy on the side. He isn't. We go WAY WAY back and honestly, Chris is one of my best friends. I trust him and his opinion and that's rare to find in friends. He's been there for me through good and bad.

Now I could see him getting somewhat jealous of Dre since he was an ex of mine. But we didn't last that long and Dre is happy with the guy he is with. We didn't work out as a couple, probably never would. We are maybe to similar, but make great friends. So yes, at one point I did enjoy Dre. He did make a fantasy of mine come true and showed me that it love does exist, just not with me. But I hope Chuck does realize that I'm with him and there is no harm in talking with these friends.

Hell, if I were to turn the tables and act like him he shouldn't be talking to Mike… Josh….

Anyways, nuff of that. I just felt like you guys were owed an apology. And maybe I can give you Chuck's phone number so that you can start calling him… leave messages on his voice mail and tell him that he has nothing to worry about? *kidding*

Step Up Baltimore

Ok, now I'll admit that I'm glad I didn't know this once they were filming this movie, but Channing Tatum who is on my top 5 hot guys list was in Baltimore to film part of this movie which takes place in Baltimore. I'm glad because Chuck would have gotten jealous over this. And I would have wanted to go down and see it being filmed, lol.

Baltimore BTW I heard is becoming the new hot spot according to MTV for clubbing. It's gotten huge especially for hip hop clubs. A lot of top notch DJ's are heading to Baltimore to be part of the FAD.


I will say that they are over hyping this movie. On a radio trailer I heard "Be a part of the party of the year", "The most anticipated soundtrack" "Energy and dance moves you won't see anywhere else"....


Give me a break. I'm sorry, I'm a huge music fan, but I'm never sittin' round anticipating any movie soundtrack. And no movie to me is a "party". No matter how cute the guys are in it. At that point if it is one, it's a circle jerk party... lol.

Short update yet long list

Just wanted to update and tell you guys I'm doing well. Money is still in the back of my mind, but then I'm sure that is in the back of most people's minds.

Things have been going pretty well lately and Kiks (bless him) asked me a few days ago if I was ok by e-mail. I should have responded right away with an "I'm ok", but I didn't. I know, shame on me!

You ever have those days where you feel like you could break out in song and smile? Ok, maybe you don't. ;) I was listening to Cherish by Madonna on the ZEN and immediately made me think of Chuck and some of the great times we have together and I cherish. I would have sent him the song, but I know I've already sent it to him… along with over 200 others which I never updated on here like I promised. So here is a list of those songs that I have sent him so far (some being far apart from each other in time). In case you don't know, I send Chuck songs to kind of remind him that I love him. I think it's a sweet gesture.

Song number 206 (Five for Fighting's - All I know) from "Chicken Little" the movie is a song I suggest you download if you like Five's other songs. The movie Chicken Little wasn't great, just ok, but this song has a pretty romantic feeling to it. I really love their 100 years song on their album.

Kimberly Locke - 8th World Wonder
Michelle Branch - It's you
Leanne Rimes - This Love
Foreigner - I don't want to live without you
Shania Twain - From this moment (6)
Etta James - At Last (7)
Vanessa Carlton - Pretty Baby (8)
Martina McBride - Valentine (9)
Clay Aiken - The Way (10)
Madonna - Cherish (11)
Sarah Brightman - All I ask of you (phantom 12)
Martina McBride - I love you (13)
Monica - Angel of Mine (14)
Shanice - Saving Forever for you (15)
Norah Jones - The Nearness of You (16)
Etta James - At Last (17)
The Bangles - Eternal Flame (18)
Bette Midler - The Rose (19)
Madonna - Crazy for you (20)
Kci and Jojo - Tell me it's Real (21)
98 Degrees - I do (Cherish you) (22)
Jessica Simpson - I wanna love you forever (23)
The Coors - Breathless (24)
UB40 - Can't help falling in love (25)
Donna Lewis - I love you always forever (26)
Belinda Carlisle - I get Weak (27)
All 4 one - I swear (28)
JOJO Feat. BOW WOW - Baby It's U (29)
Billie Myers - Kiss the Rain (30)
Janis Joplin - My Baby (31)
Celine Dion - If that's what it takes (32)
Janet Jackson - When I think of you (33)
Leann Rimes - I need you (34)
Mariah Carey - When I saw you (35)
Mary Chapin Carpenter - Passionate Kisses (36)
Savage Garden - I knew I loved you (37)
Sonny and Cher - I Got you Babe (38)
Atomic Kitten - The Tide is High (39)
Chingy - Right Thurr (40)
Gigi D'Agostino - Your Love (Elisir) (41)
Alison Krauss - When you say nothing at all (42)
Leann Rimes - How Do I Live (43)
Shania Twain - Forever and For Always (44)
Alanis Morissette - Everything (45)
Moulin Rouge - Your Song (46)
Dana Glover - It is you (I have Loved) (47)
Seal - Waiting for You (48)
When in Rome - The Promise (Tony Moran mix) (49)
The Cranberries - Dreams (50)
Moulin Rouge - Come what may (51)
Bonnie Raitt - You Got It (52)
The Divinyls - I Touch Myself (53)
Shania Twain - I'm Gonna Getcha Good (54)
Toy box - Superduper Man (55)
Toy box - Teddy Bear (56)
Crazytown - Butterfly (57)
Bette Midler - To Deserve You (58)
Bette Midler - Thats how love moves (59)
Christina Aguilera - I turn to you (60)
Jody Whatley - All the way to heaven (61)
KC and Jojo - All my Life (62)
Michael Bolton - Once in a Lifetime (63)
Josh Groban - When you say you love me (64)
Shanice - I love your Smile (65)
Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give you up (66)
Edwin McCain - I'll be (67)
Taylor Dayne - I'll Always Love you (68)
No Doubt - Underneath it All (69)
Belinda Carlisle - I get weak (REPEAT 70)
Roger - I want to be your man (71)
Peter Cetera - One Good Woman (72)
Bette Midler - In my life (73)
Brandy - Sittin' up in my room (74)
Jessica Simpson - Underneath (75)
Pretenders - I'll Stand by You (76)
Jim Brickman & Christina Aguilera - Destiny (77)
Jeff Healey Band - Angel Eyes (78)
Donna Summer - This Time I Know it's for Real (79)
Joe Cocker - You are so beauitful (80)
Peter Cetera - Glory of Love (81)
Belinda Carlisle - Mad About You (82)
Jim Brickman - Beautiful (83)
Jessica Simpson - For your Love (84)
Chantal Kreviazuk - Feels like home (85)
Chicago - You're the Inspiration (86)
Richard Marx - Now and Forever (87)
Bryan Adams - (everything I do) I do it for you (88)
Grease - You're the one that i want (89)
Paula Abdul - Rush Rush (90)
Escape Club - I'll be There (91)
UB40 - The Way you do the things you do (92)
Janet Jackson - Alright (93)
Amy Grant - Baby Baby (94)
Celine Dion - I'm your Angel (95)
Proclaimers - I'm Gonna Be (500 miles) (96)
SWV - Right Here Human Nature (97)
Gloria Esteban - I see your Snile (98)
Bette Midler - The Glory of Love (99)
Jim Brickman Collin Raye & Susan Ashton - The Gift (100)
Whitney Houston - I Believe in you and me (101)
Aerosmith - I Don't want to miss a thing (102)
Robyn - Show Me Love (103)
Leann Rimes - Looking Through Your Eyes (104)
98 Degrees - Because of You (105)
Jesse McCartney - Beautiful Soul (106)
Celine Dion - Faith (107)
Roberta Flack - The First Time ever I Saw Your Face (108)
Ashlee Simpson - Peices of Me (109)
Martina McBride - There you Are (110)
BBMAK - Back Here (111)
Savage Garden - Crash and Burn (112)
Tim Mcgraw - Best Friends (113)
Kelly Clarkson - Anytime (114)
Clay Aiken - I will carry you (115)
Celine Dion - Then you look at me (116)
Journey - Faithfully (117)
Billy Joel - Just the Way you are (118)
DJ Sammy - Heaven {Yanou's Candlelight Mix} (119)
Elton John - This is Your Song (120)
Billy Joel - You're my Home (121)
Faith Hill - Breathe (122)
Sonique - It Feels so Good (123)
Celine Dion - That's the Way it is (124)
Jo Dee Messina - That's the Way it is (125)
Lee Anee Womack - I hope you dance (126)
Faith Hill - The Way you Love me (127)
Dixie Chicks - Cowboy Take me Away (128)
Alicia Keys - If I Ain't Got You (piano vocal version) (129)
Whitney Houston - My Love is your Love (dance remix) (130)
Karla Bonoff - Standing Right Next to me (131)
Pandora - Don't Worry (132)
Carly Simon - Something Wonderful (133)
Jefferson Starship - Nothing's gonna stop us now (134)
Kylie Minogue - Love at First Sight (135)
Ashlee Simpson - Lala (136)
Katrina and the Waves - Walking on Sunshine (137)
Hoobastank - The Reason (138)
Natalie Cole - This will be an Everlasting Love (139)
Uncle Sam Band - When I see you Smile (140)
Wynonna Judd - You were Loved (141)
Minnie Riperton - Lovin You (142)
Carly Simon - Nobody Does it better (143)
Myra - Miracles Happen (when you believe) (144)
Natural - Put your arms around me (145)
Oasis - Wonderwall (146)
Debbie Boone - You light up my life (147)
The Calling - Wherever you will go (148)
Soluna - For all time (149)
Sophie B. Hawkins - As I lay me down (150)
Kylie Minogue - Outta My Head (151)
Jade - Every day of the week (152)
Michael Jackson - Will you be there (153)
Brandy - Baby (154)
Firehouse - I live my life for you (155)
Willie Nelson - Always on My Mind (156)
Lindsay Pagano - Everything U R (157)
Air Supply - Even the nights are better (158)
38 Special - Caught up in you (159)
Police - Every little thing she does is magic (160)
Kenny Rogers - Lady (161)
When in Rome - The Promise (Tony Moran Mix) (162)
Finch - Letters to You (163)
Crystal Gayle & Eddie Rabbitt - You and I (164)
Deniece Williams - Let's Hear it for the boy (165)
Sunscreem - Love U More (Billys Remix) (166)
Sergio Mendes - Never Gonna let you go (167)
Styx - Babe (168)
Dionne Warwick - I'll never love this way again (169)
Sarah Brightman - Heaven Is Here (170)
Natalie Cole - Unforgettable (171)
Dido - Don't Leave Home (172)
Jim Brickman - Your Love (173)
Rascal Flatts - Bless the Broken Road (174)
Jim Brickman - Love of my life (175)
Cars - Magic (176)
Sheriff - When I'm with you (177)
Vonda Shepard - Hooked on a feeling (178)
Shedaisy - Before Me and You (179)
Deniece Williams - Let's Hear it for the boy (180)
Du (Onyuru Remix) (181)
Pretty Poison - Catch Me (I'm Falling) (182)
Archies - Sugar Sugar (183)
The Corrs - Runaway (Tin Tin Out Remix) (184)
Rex Smith - You Take My Breath Away (185)
Babys - Every Time I Think Of You (186)
Robert Palmer - Bad Case Of Lovin' You (187)
Exile - Kiss You All Over (188)
Barry Manilow - Can't Smile Without You (189)
Heatwave - Always and Forever (190)
Kenny Loggins & Stevie Nicks - Whenever I Call You Friend (191)
Paul Mccartney & Wings - My Love (192)
Stevie Wonder - You Are the Sunshine Of My Life (193)
Kiss - I Was Made for Lovin' You (194)
TLC - Baby - Baby - Baby (195)
Emotions - Best of my love (196)
The Platters - Only You (197)
Joe Cocker - You are so beautiful (198)
Bobby Darin - You're the reason I'm living (199)
Doris Troy - Just One Look (200)
Josh Groban - You Raise me up (201)
Amy Grant - Every Heartbeat (202)
Sarah Mclachlan - Answer (203)
Whitney Houston - If you say my eyes are beautiful (204)
Bill Withers - Just the Two of Us (205)
Five For Fighting - All I know (206)
Barbara Lewis - Baby, I'm Your's. (207)

Bitch, bitch, bitch..

Hey, not much new going on.

I love the ZEN. I finally got it to where I put in most of my music collection and two movies (Finding Nemo and Toy Story 2) in it. I can never get enough of those 2 movies. I finally got Chuck to watch Finding Nemo. I don't think he really enjoyed it though. Sometimes I wonder how such opposites can attract and stay together. He used to throw a small fit whenever I mentioned watching either movie. And sadly enough they are my favorite movies. Weird to say this, but it felt like he didn't care about anything I enjoyed and seemed more concerned about himself. I know a part of that isn't true, but subconsciously you wonder… why won't he do anything that I want, like watch those 2 movies or show me some love by him taking actions on cuddling. I'm always the one who pets him and he lays on me, but why can't the roles be reversed? I've asked him this, and he says well you just need to tell me. Somehow in the moment you don't want to have to tell you partner to "Cuddle with me". You just want it to happen and be offered.

His ex Tiffany (yes he has a female ex that he had a daughter with) seems to be trying to get back in his life. She disappears for the longest time without hearing a word, and now all of the sudden they are buddy buddy again. I find this weird too.

Ok, I just had to get those off my chest.

I've been worried about money lately too. Now it's time to bitch out my ex Kevin. He offered a few months back to send me a check since he had told Maria to keep half of my security deposit since we used to live together. But back then he offered up half of his deposit to me and said I could have it because he moved out early and broke our lease. Well Maria didn't pay me that part of the security deposit because Kevin told her to keep it. He claimed to feel bad about it and offered to send me a check since it was his fault for telling her that. Well I have yet to see that check and honestly money is extremely tight right now. I don't know how I'm going to get by until my next check. No shopping for food and gas is going to have to be a priority to save up for to get to work until I get my next paycheck.

Being sarcastic I wanna say "Thank you Kevin!"

Now who else can I bitch about?

I don't want to turn my entire blog into a negative one where all I do is bitch all the time. I feel bad enough I don't write near as often in here. I sometimes feel like I want to get back into writing every day… even going back and doing my songs again. But other times I feel like I have nothing to say or I've lost my audience anyways so why bother.

I have a lot on my mind though and this seems like a cheap outlet. If someone reads this and doesn't like what I have to say, tough… this is how I feel and I wanted to say it.

Another cheap outlet is piano playing which I might start up again. Since the move I haven't touched my keyboard, but it was great stress relief. So either I need to get out and exercise, play the piano, write a blog, or find some other new hobby to get my mind off things. Oh, and the ZEN has helped me keep sanity at work. Without music I don't know where I would be right now.