Bitch, bitch, bitch..

Hey, not much new going on.

I love the ZEN. I finally got it to where I put in most of my music collection and two movies (Finding Nemo and Toy Story 2) in it. I can never get enough of those 2 movies. I finally got Chuck to watch Finding Nemo. I don't think he really enjoyed it though. Sometimes I wonder how such opposites can attract and stay together. He used to throw a small fit whenever I mentioned watching either movie. And sadly enough they are my favorite movies. Weird to say this, but it felt like he didn't care about anything I enjoyed and seemed more concerned about himself. I know a part of that isn't true, but subconsciously you wonder… why won't he do anything that I want, like watch those 2 movies or show me some love by him taking actions on cuddling. I'm always the one who pets him and he lays on me, but why can't the roles be reversed? I've asked him this, and he says well you just need to tell me. Somehow in the moment you don't want to have to tell you partner to "Cuddle with me". You just want it to happen and be offered.

His ex Tiffany (yes he has a female ex that he had a daughter with) seems to be trying to get back in his life. She disappears for the longest time without hearing a word, and now all of the sudden they are buddy buddy again. I find this weird too.

Ok, I just had to get those off my chest.

I've been worried about money lately too. Now it's time to bitch out my ex Kevin. He offered a few months back to send me a check since he had told Maria to keep half of my security deposit since we used to live together. But back then he offered up half of his deposit to me and said I could have it because he moved out early and broke our lease. Well Maria didn't pay me that part of the security deposit because Kevin told her to keep it. He claimed to feel bad about it and offered to send me a check since it was his fault for telling her that. Well I have yet to see that check and honestly money is extremely tight right now. I don't know how I'm going to get by until my next check. No shopping for food and gas is going to have to be a priority to save up for to get to work until I get my next paycheck.

Being sarcastic I wanna say "Thank you Kevin!"

Now who else can I bitch about?

I don't want to turn my entire blog into a negative one where all I do is bitch all the time. I feel bad enough I don't write near as often in here. I sometimes feel like I want to get back into writing every day… even going back and doing my songs again. But other times I feel like I have nothing to say or I've lost my audience anyways so why bother.

I have a lot on my mind though and this seems like a cheap outlet. If someone reads this and doesn't like what I have to say, tough… this is how I feel and I wanted to say it.

Another cheap outlet is piano playing which I might start up again. Since the move I haven't touched my keyboard, but it was great stress relief. So either I need to get out and exercise, play the piano, write a blog, or find some other new hobby to get my mind off things. Oh, and the ZEN has helped me keep sanity at work. Without music I don't know where I would be right now.

Plastic Angel

So it's been a long time since I last wrote. I haven't had much time to focus on writing like I sometimes want to :( It just seems each time I turn around something else takes preference over this blog.

I'm doing well and glad to say with a big smile that it's official, everything has been changed over to Maryland now. Without going into details it was just a pain in the you know what to get my car transferred over. To many steps, and to much stress along the way with it. But it's done and I'm very happy that it is.

I also purchased a ZEN Vision M for my birthday present with some gift money I received. It's one of the best presents I have ever bought. It's so handy being able to carry around my entire music collection on one small device. My collection wouldn't fit on it regularly, but through some WMA compression I was able to take every song I care about with me, and even then some. This device could be called my "plastic angel" (after Concrete Angel) because it not only give me music, but music is a huge godsend to me. It puts me in a better mood and I work twice as fast with it so I'm getting more done at work, and I'm happier doing it.

Chuck didn't like the device when I first got it because I admit I spent way to much time on the computer trying to get everything just the way I wanted it. Most of that reason isn't the device's fault at all, but my own. When I purchased the device it was also the exact same time I went under official beta testing of Windows Vista Beta 2. So I was deleting old crap off of my hard drive to make room for it when I accidentally click on a windows file I shouldn't have. So I crashed XP and had to reinstall. Due to the reinstall of XP nothing seemed to work right and installing the ZEN drivers just added to the mess. I had old Windows Media Player 11 files trying to work with the Windows Media player 10 files.. Etc… it was just a nightmare and it just wouldn't let me play music or sync the device.

Now with a lot of effort and many hours I have my computer pretty much flowing again on both XP and Vista. And now I'm able to use the device without having issues like I did before. So it's worth every penny and hour in my mind because it has put me in a better mood and made me get things done that I wouldn't have had time for in the past. Funny how I (and others) can work faster with a little bit of music.