Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Single and my fat analyzer

I gotta wonder who gave me priviledges and why...

I've been talking to a number of guys/boys lately that want what Chuck and I have (looking for a relationship that is monogamous and serious). I almost feel like playing matchmaker with them all, but then again sometimes I feel like true romance and chivalry have become extinct. What happened to all those guys that seemed to back in the day loved being in love, devoting their energy on the person they are with, and making them the focus of what they want most? What happened to the guys that sure may look at others but never really think about "Man, I want to have sex with them" because they are happy and find their partner to be the one they want to be with? Sometimes I wonder, did this ever exist? Because it seems like these days no one seems to think like this.

Is it some fairytale? ... a dreamland to believe that there is someone out there that doesn't act on or think about sex besides with the person they are with? Who knows at this point.

So anyways, because of this I feel skeptical to set these people up, because I know some of these guys really supposedly want that, but wonder do they really mean it.

I find it weird thinking about who gave me the good end of the deal. Some of these people have been single for years. I never (and sorta sad to say) have been single for more then a few months. Why do I get such a short period when these guys are just as good as me and yet wait forever to find someone. Are they being picky? Do I know where to look and they don't? Has luck blessed me in the relationship area? Am I just easier to fall in love with? *laughs*

Ok, before I get to cocky... I just want to say I have been blessed, and thank God for it. Not everyone has experienced true love yet, and while I wonder if me knowing what it is is a good thing sometimes or not, I'm very happy I've had the chance.

On the romance subject, Chuck gave me a dozen roses. I believe this was the first time I've ever gotten them from a BF. Maybe Kevin gave them to me once, but it was so long ago and something that he wouldn't really like to do that I'm almost certain this was a first. Plus I would remember that from Kevin. Kevin was the guy that on Valentine's day gave me a body fat analyzer. The thing you hold in both hands and squeeze and it tells you how much body fat you have. And you all have seen me, I'm skinny and don't think much about fat. So why would I need something like that who knows. He said I placed interest in it. Which in that I probably said "Oh, thats cool." But never wanted it.