Monday, September 13, 2004

Heaven is a Place on Earth

Sorry I haven't blogged much the past few days. I actually went to the beach with my BF. Let me just tell you I could write 1001 stories from the weekend. Some of them I'm sure you would laugh your ass off.... but because I do love him with all my heart I'm also not going to share these memories at this time. I know that may sound weird, but I'd rather not get that personal about our moments we share. At least not without his permission.

I will say it was one of the best weekends I have ever had. He is an amazing person which I can honestly say is one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen. Whenever I'm around him I feel like that is what Heaven should be like. I'm so happy when I'm around him, that I almost feel like crying.

Deep down I just hope we'll both be able handle each other (stop thinking that way you pervert!)... and that it'll last until my dieing day. And I just hope that isn't for a very long time (with either of us), so we have lots of time together.

You know, it feels almost to good to be true. Like because it's just to good to be possible, that this just can't last. Like I'm somehow gonna be punished for having something so perfect in my life (since nothing ever seems to stay wonderful in my life).

*Message to Chuck* - I love you with all my heart. We are so connected you and I... it's strange. I feel like even though we haven't had a lot of time to spend together, there is something much more powerful going on between us. I wish I could put this in words, because while yes it's definitely love.. it's so much more. Like we were meant to be soul mates and somehow life has been leading me up to meeting just you. Now that I have you the puzzle just seems to come together. Don't ever leave me sexy and I'll try my hardest to make you as happy as I possibly can.

*Message to everyone else* - Sorry if all of that made you gag! ;) And I do also want to say that I have connected very strong with my ex's (especially Kevin and Dre). While both of them have given me happiness and pleasure beyond belief and I love them both dearly, I do have to say that what we had is unforgettable. I definitely have those 2 guys as being a very big part of my life. The connection is strong with them, but I can tell with Chuck, there is something there that just seems to work better then the others. He just feels like a story book kinda love... what I've dreamed about. Now I'm just hoping that Kevin and Dre both find what I have found. When they do, I wanna be there to witness it and see their smile. I know I made them happy, but when they get this it'll make me happier knowing they finally found what they were looking and hoping for.