Wednesday, February 02, 2005


Chuck did something last night that made me feel really good. He got really close to me at the grocery store, like he was trying to cuddle with me.

I normally have a problem with PDA (public display of affection), but it just felt so good all I wanted at that moment was to hold and touch him. The world around me just disappeared and for that moment, he was the only thing on my mind, and how good that felt.

I really wish I wasn't so uptight about PDA. I'm just worried about what others think around me. I know I shouldn't be this way... but it's so hard growing up in an area where it seemed like everyone thought homosexuality was bad. And part of me just thinks that if someone sees me this way they'll get pissed or upset. And then I also think maybe most PDA should remain behind closed doors. Because you know how sickining it is to see a couple holding hands and kissing in the mall or at a restaurant sometimes? (Ok, maybe I'm the only one that finds it that way).

And on this note sorta.. I love to cuddle, I wish I could cuddle 24/7, that would be like my ultimate Heaven. But I know that is impossible, plus it may get sorta bad being joined at the hip so to speak. But all this talk about PDA just makes me think about cuddling and how it's one of my favorite things. I could rub a back or head for hours. And hold a person in my arms.... *starts dreaming*