Wednesday, February 09, 2005

The butt of all jokes...

seems to be me. At least when I'm out with my ex and my fiance.

I don't know, but I think I might avoid that group for a while. The whole dynamic feels kinda weird to begin with. Kevin (my ex) cutting both Chuck (my stud pup fiance) and I down, he said something about Chuck that to be quite honest, I wanted to cuse him out and leave. At the same time I didn't know how to react, since he is my ex. To play along with the gang and not start trouble I just let things go and kinda laughed it off (but I really didn't think it was funny). Later on though I'm sure the group could tell I wasn't that happy anymore (least I couldn't fake it).

I think the whole group feeds off each other, and not in a good way. It's exhausting being around them all together and I just seem to be the target for most of the jokes. Things people probably shouldn't be joking about, or talking about (some even very personal things).

I do want to stress that I have talked to Chuck about this and he has apologized for it and I think he sees to some degree that maybe things went to far.

Well just to play it safe I think I'll just stay away and let them have their fun. I'm sure there are plenty of other things that they could talk about... and maybe I should be flattered I'm involved in the topics of discussions... but in all honesty, it's really starting to grate on my nerves and it's upsetting at the same time. Who wants to be made fun of? I mean there is a point where it's funny, and I admit I can be a target for them. But after a few it gets old, and it starts to cut below the belt. You know that saying (I sometimes wonder if it's true) "Behind all jokes there is some truth."

But these moments make me realize just why Kevin and I couldn't have worked things out. He just loves to push people's buttons without taking their feelings into consideration.