2 Jokes

1)
A guy, who has never heard of Religion or even God, dies and goes to the pearlie gates of heaven where St. Peter greets him. St. Peter says "I see here that you don't have a religion. Well we're going to have to get you one". So they start walking through heaven to all the different religions. They arrive to the first one and it's the Jews. He hears loud talking and laughing going on. The guy says " Can I see all my options before I chose??" St. Peter says "Of course.". So they go to the next one and he hears even more laughing and loud music. The guy says "Who is this??" "These are the Catholics." So they move on to the next where the Buddist are and he hears even louder music, laughter and hears alot of women too. The guy says well let's see who's next. After a few minutes they arrive to a big white wall. The guy says "Who's this??" St. Peter says "Sssshhhhhhh!!". This is the mormons, they think they're the only ones up here.

2)
One day a blonde was driving down the road when she was pulled over by a police officer. The officer says, "Ma'm, you were doing a little swerving back there." She says, "Officer, it was the weirdest thing. There was this tree that popped up out of no where, so I swerved to the right. The there was another tree so I swerved to the left. The trees kept popping up, so I kept swerving." The officer sighs and tells her, "Ma'm, there arent any trees around here. That was your air freshener."