Kinda like a porn flick - no plot

Annoyed

2009-07-17T08:06:00.003-05:00

Chuck and I had an argument last night about something stupid, but I think I got so mad about it because it was an underlying issue that was brought to surface yet again.

I was watching the special on TV about the author of Harry Potter. She was saying she was happy and Chuck said something like "I'm sure she is with all that money she has", and I responded "I'm sure she is especially with this new movie that just came out and how well it's doing".

Well, after a moment had passed he brought up that one of his facebook friends had started a group about how shitty the new movie was and that it's not the best of the series and sucks compared to the book. I said I probably wouldn't agree with his friend and Chuck should look up rottentomatoes.com and see what the critics have to say on it. Because I read that it's the best of the series and a greatt film to book transfer (with a few critics liking the movie more then the book). Yes I know, logic tells you that the book is always better, but I'm just saying what I had read.

Well Chuck would not leave me alone about the whole deal about how his group has many followers and nothing compares to the book. Pushing my every button about the matter.

What I wanted to do is bring up rottentomatoes.com and show him what I was talking about. He just wouldn't take me at my word. It seemed his friend knew what he was talking about and I didn't. Which brings up the annoying issue... Chuck can't seem to just listen sometimes and apprecaite what I have to say. We can agree to disagree, but don't keep going on about it and try to push every button you can in the process for a debate. It seems he usually doesn't take my word for things anyways. Sometimes it ends up that he should have and I get to say "I told you so!". Although I normally don't rub it in that much.

Now I haven't seen the movie yet so I can't say this from personal experience, but I think that if enough critics say it, I would think it is so. Chuck hates a lot of things I enjoy like Harry Potter and Disney, so I think he does it to try to show me how "evil Disney is" or how lame Harry Potter is. I almost think he is trying to change my mind about how I should view these things, but that ain't gonna happen! Disney is a love of mine for MANY reasons. Mostly a lot of great memories in my life that I'm taking to my grave. Both with the movies and the theme parks I have a chance to feel like a kid and be happy and joyful about it all.

So without further ado here are some qoutes about Harry Potter from critics in case Chuck ever decides that listening to me might be ok from time to time...

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is the franchise's best so far - Associated Press

Unlike most film series, the Potter movies haven't weakened along the way - Star Tirbune

Harry is better than ever, a triumph of visual wonder and emotional storytelling - Rolling Stone

Half Blood Prince is one of his most successful adaptations to date - Sky Movies

Too deep into the saga to win over any Potter virgins, this is payback for those who've followed the series from the start, with some of what was best about the books finally making a comfortable transition to screen - Channel 4 Film

The strangest thing about the new Harry Potter movie is not that it’s unusually good, which it is, but that it unequivocally illustrates just how poorly we’ve been served by the previous five instalments in the franchise - UK Times

The Half-Blood Prince is so great that it nudges out The Goblet Of Fire as the best Potter movie - Sun Online

it comes close to capturing on film some of the texture and richness of Rowling's books - Scotsman

This was a fantastic adaptation of an excellent book, and well worth your time and money - Cinerina

Who would have thought, after five movies and so much hype, that the sixth Harry Potter movie would be better than most of its predecessors? - Morning Herald

the Empire Strikes Back of the Harry Potter series, and it's possibly the best film in the whole lot - 7M Pictures

The peak film in the franchise... from the acting, to the writing, to the production design to the cinematography, which is so unbearably lovely that I can't even quite stand it - Antagony & Ecstasy

definitely the best of the series and is easily the one summer blockbuster that delivers everything Potter fans could expect and more - MD Gazette

Like the Prince himself, David Yates crosses out portions of J.K. Rowling's text in favor of his own ideas. This produces the best magic to date - Seacoast Newspapers

It's taken them six movies to find it, but at last here is Harry Potter's Empire Strikes Back - CinemaBlend

That Half-Blood Prince stays true to Rowling's downbeat, morose vision is a testament to the integrity of this franchise and the fortitude of its fans - AMCtv

Six films in, it almost feels like it's booting up a new-and-improved, darker, earthier, more grown-up and visually sophisticated trilogy - Oregonian

Half-Blood Prince shows the Potter film franchise and Rowling's story are in very good hands indeed - Mercery News

It all starts with the books of course, but perhaps it is time to recognize the Potter films for the impressive franchise that it, too, has become - The Movie Minute

Mean moody and magnificent, this is perhaps the best yet of the Harry Potter series - Daily Mirror

An impressive film that stands out as the jewel in the Potter crown - Heart 106.2

This is absolutely the best of the Harry Potter films so far - HitFix

For fans both of the films and the books, this is an elegant addition to the canon - Daily Telegraph

"Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" is the most balanced Harry Potter film to come along... - Daily Radar

I have to say, this was the most satisfying book-to-film transfer of them all. It never felt rushed. They took time to tell the story. The effects were wonderful, but not overdone. With a few exceptions, they included the major plot points from the book - JoBlo's Movie Emporium

Yes I like to make my point! :P While I don't have the time to read every review and find the crtics that liked the movie more (I know I've read that), I think the above shows what I was trying to accomplish with what I was telling him.

It's been almost 2 years

2009-07-01T07:44:00.005-05:00

I doubt anybody is reading this blog anymore. I have a lot of great stuff written on here and I still get statistics that people are accessing the blog daily... but part of me thinks that is because of the blog title. People search for porn, and my blog comes up in that :P Once they see what it is, they just move on to the next link.

A few things got me motivated enough to update this. Chuck said he still visits my blog from time to time to see if I have anything new to say. Also, I visited a friend of mine's blog this morning and read a very emotional entry. So I thought ok, I really should update this in case anybody does really care.

I definitely won't go into the last 2 years of my life to catch you up. I'll just tell you I'm doing well. I recently had my 35th (frown) birthday. Another day older... another year closer to death :( I was recently told I still have a job with the company I work for. I had several months there were it was a major issue again. Not sure whether they still need me during the process, and they let about 800 people go so far and they are still making cuts. The economy sucks so I'm glad I still have some security during this time.

I went on two wonderful trips in the past few months. One to New York City and another to Canada. I loved Canada. The people just seem so much more relaxed there and open minded. Very friendly as well. I take my hat off to them.

My relationship with Chuck is going well. We still have some ups and downs like most couples. I was afraid it might have been over while I was gone in NYC. I friend had given me information about what he was up to while I was away. I wasn't happy about it, but we have worked through that and I hope it doesn't happen again. I will say the friends that hung out with him during this time should have kept a better eye on things. To this day I'm kind of sour about that. I wish I could tell you the story, but in the best interest of our relationship I think it's best not to air the "dirty laundry" that much. I know this is my blog/journal, but it's also an online one. I would love to say 'this (insert name) person is a cunt'... but that wouldn't be very professional of me, lol

I just recently cleared up a lot of credit issues I had. I pulled out money from my job savings account and put part of that money towards paying off my debts. I'm happy to say things are really looking up in that area. My only regret is that I didn't do this sooner. I was tired of getting turned down for certain things and really needed to do it so that I can buy a house in the future. Now I just need to start saving up again for a deposit on a home. Part of me is being drawn towards that, while another part of me is being drawn into getting a new car. I have 125,000+ miles on my current one and Chuck's car isn't in good shape at all. So I had thought about giving him mine since I have kept mine like new and getting a new one. Especially since prices are really good right now for buying one. I'm just not sure what I should actually do next. It's tough being torn on this.

Well I might start getting back into blogging. If I do it won't be as often as I started out doing. Until next time, if anyone is reading this you take care.

At last...

2007-07-17T09:58:00.000-05:00

Wow, it's been a long time.

It's odd that I still get e-mailed weekly about people looking at this blog. I haven't really had much desire in writing to it lately. I do want to apologize for not keeping this up to date for those people that care.

I'm doing pretty well these days. I now have a few things that take up my time to enjoy life a little better. I recently bought a new 50" plasma HDTV. It's amazing and while I do miss the HD projector I had, and it's 108" screen. I don't miss that I had to close the curtains and the room to be dark to watch it. This new TV looks amazing and it definitely puts a smile on my face. Especially since you know how much of a TV addict I can be.

I also now have a Wii. Very enjoyable. I actually play it a lot more then my xbox 360. The games just seem to be cooler to play because of the neat interaction with the remotes. So yeah, I've been stuck playing a lot more video games.

Also, Netflix has kept me entertained. Tons of gay movies, and movies in HD DVD that I saw years ago but want to now see in High Def instead.

Time has been eaten up by these. And of course Chuck. Yes we are still together and things have settled down on the issues I had in our relationship. Less flirting as well ;)

So life has been pretty good for me. I do still have some issues (an example is I will be losing my job in Feb. due to the company I worked for for 10 years is moving our department to Texas, and I don't want to move). Also I miss a few people that I had in my life at one point. Just wondering how they are doing. And currently I have a hell of a sun burn that I can't wait till it stops being painful. Also Chuck calling Chris (my best friend), my other boyfriend is getting really old. I hope he takes the hint because I have starting doing the same with him and his friend Joey. Chris and I have never been together, we are only best friends. But for some reason Chuck is jealous of him and must call him my "other boyfriend". I should probably not care, but I do because this makes me not want to talk to Chris to hear that from Chuck. Also I have a few new friends in my life that I could see hanging out with, but I'm a little worried that Chuck will get jealous of them too. So I don't even mention them. So yeah, there are issues ;)

Not sure what else to tell you though, but at least I posted a new one right? ;) I'm well, and I hope you all are too.

Flirting...

2007-02-08T12:07:00.000-05:00

I don't have a lot to say on this, wikipedia does a good job at it I think (as does the others)...

Flirting is a form of human interaction, usually expressing a sexual or romantic interest in the other person. It can consist of conversation, body language, or brief physical contact. It may be one-sided or reciprocated.

Flirting is often used as a means of expressing interest and gauging the other person's interest in courtship, which can continue into long term relationships. Alternatively, it may simply be a prelude to casual sex with no continuing relationship. A person who takes flirting to the opposite extreme is often considered promiscuous or a slut.

In other situations, it may be done simply for immediate entertainment, with no intention of developing any further relationship. This type of flirting sometimes faces disapproval from others, either because it can be misinterpreted as more serious, or it may be viewed as "cheating" if the person is already in a romantic relationship with someone else.

People who flirt may speak and act in a way that suggests greater intimacy than is generally considered appropriate to the relationship (or to the amount of time the two people have known each other), without actually saying or doing anything that breaches any serious social norms. One way they accomplish this is to communicate a sense of playfulness or irony. Double entendres, with one meaning more formally appropriate and another more suggestive, may be used.

Phychology Today tells this on a study of flirting:

This much is clear so far: flirting is nature's solution to the problem every creature faces in a world full of potential mates-how to choose the right one. We all need a partner who is not merely fertile but genetically different as well as healthy enough to promise viable offspring, provide some kind of help in the hard job of parenting and offer some social compatibility.

Our animal and human ancestors needed a means of quickly and safely judging the value of potential mates without "going all the way" and risking pregnancy with every possible candidate they encountered. Flirting achieved that end, offering a relatively risk-free set of signals with which to sample the field, try out sexual wares and exchange vital information about candidates' general health and reproductive fitness.

"Flirting is a negotiation process that takes place after there has been some initial attraction," observes Steven W. Gangestad, Ph.D., an evolutionary psychologist at the University of New Mexico in Albuquerque who is currently studying how people choose their mates. "Two people have to share with each other the information that they are attracted, and then test each other" on an array of attributes. Simply announcing, 'I'm attracted to you, are you attracted to me?' doesn't work so well. "It works much better to reveal this and have it revealed to you in smaller doses," explains Gangestad. "The flirting then becomes something that enhances the attraction."

It is an axiom of science that traits and behaviors crucial to survival-such as anything to do with attraction and sex-require, and get, a lot of an animal's resources. All mammals and most animals (including birds, fish, even fruit flies) engage in complicated and energy-intensive plots and plans for attracting others to the business of sex. That is, they flirt.

Social issues research Centre says this:

Clearly, it makes sense to exercise a degree of caution with people who are married or attached... couples differ in their tolerance of flirtatious behaviour, and it is important to be alert to signs of discomfort or distress.

Ann Landers said this about flirting in an article in the Post:

Does it not subliminally indicate that you are interested in other people? I don't understand where people try to act like it doesn't mean anything. If your in a serious relationship and your partner is constantly seeking the attention of the opposite sex then how does that show people he's content and happy with his current relationship? People could interpret that the relationship is vulnerable. Part of being in a relationship is letting your partner feel like you are committed and letting everyone else know it too. Isn't that part of honoring and respecting the commitment?

NEW POST - about time right?

2006-12-08T10:53:00.000-05:00

Well, Thought I would write since I haven't written in a while. First, to one of the comments on my last post. HB Jock, not to be mean, but no. Confidence comes from within, you can't let others give you confidence. If so, it's not the type you should have because one day you won't be getting those remarks and then what? Plus, going to the extreme of telling someone that you wished they weren't married is I think over board.

You are entitled to your opinion, and I'm entitled to mine. But since this is my blog I feel free to express how I feel. I read your comment and have to think you are one of those guys that would sleep with anybody. And may have a lack of self esteem yourself and are looking for others to tell you "Hey, thanks for the compliment. You are also hot…" . There is no need to be expressing to someone who is happy and married the need to tell them they are hot and wish they weren't married, unless you are after something else yourself. Whether it be just for your own self esteem boast, someone else's, sex, or a relationship. That type of self esteem won't get you very far down the line. You need to find it from within. So if you want to be polite then just talk about normal things… like sports, weather, games, music, movies, clubs… The list is endless. So that should be enough to actually become friends with someone if they are married, without being stupid and jumping bounds and talking about how hot they are. Unless you are not intelligent enough to hold a regular conversation.

I actually agree more with anonymous, because hot or not is for people who want to look at pictures and find other "hot" people. So it may be more natural to get those kind of remarks on a site like that. But his profile is clear about only wanting friends… just that some people don't read… and others are to dumb to think twice before speaking.

Ok, now that I expressed my opinion on that….

Things have been ok, could be better. Chuck lost his job so money has been tight and Christmas kind of gloomy because I can't currently go out and shop for presents for everyone. He did get a new job, so I'm hoping that works out ok. My next paycheck should have a bonus in it, and he'll get his first check from his new job the same day… so things should start looking up at that point. I'm just not looking forward to battling the crowds since I've waited so long. My job has been a pain because it's the year end, so the amount of work we have to get in by the end of the year is insane, and it's pushing me to my limits.

I've had a few more issues mainly with an ex of Chuck's that wants him back. This ass hole lied to Chuck, then lied to me… then we both saw he was lying. So Chuck made up a rule that we shouldn't talk to any of our ex's. The only 2 that I sort of talked with was Dre and Kevin. But I don't speak to them much, so they don't really care I'm sure.

Things as you can see have been stressful. I feel like bitching at the world so don't get me mad ;)

I've become bitter at certain people and things because I almost feel like I've gotten nothing but shit lately. But I can say I still have enough self esteem without someone telling me I'm hot ;)

Well, lets hope I blog again soon, and have something much better and happier to talk about and say.

Foley's Follies

2006-10-10T07:13:00.000-05:00

You can't judge a book by it's cover, but you can judge it by it's other attributes.

I was listening to the radio and they were talking about the Foley case. I'm sure you all know all about it so I won't go into details. What I found interesting was that a lot of parents called into the show and have recently (due to Foley) talked to their kids about the internet and how you can't trust people on it. What may seem one way, actually is another. A parent said since her kid was young she started by telling the kid about not all dogs that wag their tails are nice. She told her child that any dog that may look friendly enough could actually surprise a person with a bite or worst. And people are the same way. They may seem innocent and friendly and then in reality could be after something entirely different.

People can tell you anything on the internet and we then choose to believe them or not. Now it's pure guessing on my part, but in the past I've talked to a lot of people online. Knowing what I've heard about them later on… or their true colors come out later they usually ended up lying about one thing or another. I can't say this about everyone because there are good people out there. But I've been through most of the drama before and people do lie. Hell I've seen several guys even pretend to be me using my pictures and info so that I guess they could get their rocks off because they don't like they way they are (question)… they must really be some sad people with themselves.

People (including me) can be very naive about what is going on.

So to all of you out there be careful and keep at least one eye open. I wish people wouldn't completely trust when they start talking to someone and be overly friendly until they really start to know the person they are dealing with. I know that sounds harsh, but in these times we almost need it to some degree.

On a slightly different note, my husband Chuck got a nice little note the other day from someone from hotornot. His profile is very clear about him only wanting to make friends and he already has someone. This guy writes him and says "you are really cute, wish you weren't married". Now why did this guy click yes then? It's obvious what he was after. He wasn't trying to be friends but rather his first thought and note (which should have been along the friends line) to Chuck was more like "Hey you're cute… wish you weren't married because I would like to do you.. And now that I have said this you at least know I think this way and maybe tell me if I have a chance.. At least you know and the option is out there". He didn't say all of that, but gay guys are easy reads sometimes. He had no interest in just being friends if he states that he wishes Chuck wasn't married.

This example sort of fits in to the whole blog because if you keep that eye open you can ask yourself "Why did this person say that.. Or react this way?" Don't just read the words, but really read it. I seriously doubt a guy that wants to be just my friend is going to start out a conversation with anything like "You're cute, gorgeous, or hot", and especially then say "I wish you weren't married". There is more they are after. They made an effort to choose those words.

So getting back to the Foley, while he did these bad things I do have to say that some of these kids that he talked to should have seen it coming with some of the things Foley said. I'm not going to say what Foley did was right at all. But if the kids had a little internet savvy they may have seen it coming and either ignored him or said they had no interests. But I have a feeling some of them loved the attention or drawn to his power which got them in that bad situation.

Friends and gas

2006-09-19T21:21:00.000-05:00

Thought I would say Happy Birthday to Dre. Getting old there... I feel like what was it.... 19 again?? ;)

It seemed like whenever I went out with Dre people thought I was much younger then I was. And that is nothing against Dre, he just picked dark places to go I think LOL

But even though we don't speak to each other much anymore I still have a connection with him that I don't have with many others.

On the gas note... saw on the news that gas is a $1.95 a gallon in Gainesville VA. In a way it's sad that gas is so high in price still, yet we think it's a great price since it isn't $3.00 anymore. I swear the oil companies have a conspiracy going on. Around Dre's birth though oil prices quadrupled doing the oil crisis. Any relation with each other? We'll never know.

Pirates life for me...

2006-09-18T21:48:00.000-05:00

Just got done watching some Wife Swap show dealing with a family of pirates. How crazy is that?!

I'm doing well, tired as hell and should be in bed with my baby. Going any second now after I finish this. Just felt like I had to say something here. Especially after I posted that funny YouTube clip, and guess what.. like a few hours later it was yanked off You Tube!! I was pissed and it wasn't anything that bad. Just one of those old time movies that addressed masturabation. You know those old films they show at driving school or science class? The kind where the lady is giving birth, yet has a jungle between her legs and wearing granny panties and the colors are way off and has the dirt floating from frame to frame.... and say "GEE WEEZ! Look at that strapping baby boy! Billy Joe is ready for his first outing in his new baby blue bonnet..." Ok, can't you tell I'm tired?

Gas prices are going down.. YAY! I got tired of paying $3.15 a gallon. We got a Costco membership, so I'm happy to report gas for me was just $2.35 last weekend. And I don't want to hear how you got gas for $2.05 in your area :-P

I got an e-mail tonight to review a DVD/CD... Yanni Live! They are sending it to me, and I'm supposed to give a little impression of it on this blog. Is this blog that popular? ;) Really though, I was very surprised by that.

Weird things have been happening in this respect. I got accepted to be a major beta tester for the evil (only kidding) Microsoft Vista. I'm loving it! The only problem is, I have a 64bit processor and not many vendors have written drivers for a 64 bit system.

I was written by Disney to beta test an upcoming game. That's all I can say about that due to legal reasons. Except for those who don't know it I beta tested several games for Disney in the past. Tron 2.0 and there whole Ultimate Ride series were the two biggest. My name is in the credits.

And can you believe I'm about to hit 100,000 views on this page? That's insane! I never thought I would get even close to that number! I can't believe it's been viewed that much. I don't know what to say, but thank you for reading. I hope someone out there thinks I was entertaining at least at some point ;)

I haven't said much lately, and most lately I've been complaining so I thought I would make this a lighter post.

Hope all of you are doing well!

Spank the monkey!

2006-08-27T08:27:00.000-05:00

Got a good laugh out of this...

Pluto, Chris, and Dre

2006-08-25T09:30:00.000-05:00

Pluto not a planet anymore? What is this world coming to? Discrimination against a ball of mass like that! I heard this morning it was removed from the category of a planet since it has no life forms and no atmosphere. Doesn't make that much sense since I don't think we know if any other planets truly have life forms.

Anyways, weird or not I was upset with this. I grew up my whole life telling me it was a planet. That would be like saying, "By the way, you know milk is good for the bones and body… well it isn't!".

Not much new news to tell you all about. I think one of our security guards at work likes me. We have a rotation of them. I think there is a little army of them since we only see the same one about once every 2 weeks. The one today greeted me with a huge "Hey, how are you?!" (with his thump up in the air and a big smile). I smiled back thinking nothing of it and said "I'm fine, how are you?". In response he said "I'm great!" and then winked at me. At first I thought he didn't wink and maybe I took it as one by mistake. Well I went out with my coworker on a break a few moments ago and as we were leaving he said "Hope you have a great day!" to us both and then winked again. My coworker turned to me and said "He either has something in his eye, or he just winked at us". I had to tell her that I think he winked and gave me a thumbs up when I walked into the door. Well we paid more attention after the break as we walked by him coming back in. "I'm glad you are back!" came out of his mouth. She turned to me and said, he must have the hots for you.

Oh and to Dre and Chris… I left my phone on Pluto… actually no I didn't. You just either catch me at a bad time (especially Chris), or once I'm around Chuck I have a hard time talking with you guys since I think he gets jealous of it. While I definitely get jealous from time to time with him, I haven't fussed about him talking to his friends like Chris and Mike. I'm sorry you guys. Chris, we gotta hang out again soon. And Dre, I swear I'll call you at some point. I feel really bad about this. :(

It's gotten to the point where is says "Your other BF is calling you", or "Aren't you gonna hang out with your other BF Chris this weekend?"…. Sure he may be kidding, but someone once told me behind every joke is a little truth. So in his mind maybe he actually thinks Chris could be a boy on the side. He isn't. We go WAY WAY back and honestly, Chris is one of my best friends. I trust him and his opinion and that's rare to find in friends. He's been there for me through good and bad.

Now I could see him getting somewhat jealous of Dre since he was an ex of mine. But we didn't last that long and Dre is happy with the guy he is with. We didn't work out as a couple, probably never would. We are maybe to similar, but make great friends. So yes, at one point I did enjoy Dre. He did make a fantasy of mine come true and showed me that it love does exist, just not with me. But I hope Chuck does realize that I'm with him and there is no harm in talking with these friends.

Hell, if I were to turn the tables and act like him he shouldn't be talking to Mike… Josh….

Anyways, nuff of that. I just felt like you guys were owed an apology. And maybe I can give you Chuck's phone number so that you can start calling him… leave messages on his voice mail and tell him that he has nothing to worry about? *kidding*

Step Up Baltimore

2006-08-09T12:45:00.000-05:00

Ok, now I'll admit that I'm glad I didn't know this once they were filming this movie, but Channing Tatum who is on my top 5 hot guys list was in Baltimore to film part of this movie which takes place in Baltimore. I'm glad because Chuck would have gotten jealous over this. And I would have wanted to go down and see it being filmed, lol.

Baltimore BTW I heard is becoming the new hot spot according to MTV for clubbing. It's gotten huge especially for hip hop clubs. A lot of top notch DJ's are heading to Baltimore to be part of the FAD.

I will say that they are over hyping this movie. On a radio trailer I heard "Be a part of the party of the year", "The most anticipated soundtrack" "Energy and dance moves you won't see anywhere else"....

Give me a break. I'm sorry, I'm a huge music fan, but I'm never sittin' round anticipating any movie soundtrack. And no movie to me is a "party". No matter how cute the guys are in it. At that point if it is one, it's a circle jerk party... lol.

Short update yet long list

2006-08-09T12:18:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to update and tell you guys I'm doing well. Money is still in the back of my mind, but then I'm sure that is in the back of most people's minds.

Things have been going pretty well lately and Kiks (bless him) asked me a few days ago if I was ok by e-mail. I should have responded right away with an "I'm ok", but I didn't. I know, shame on me!

You ever have those days where you feel like you could break out in song and smile? Ok, maybe you don't. ;) I was listening to Cherish by Madonna on the ZEN and immediately made me think of Chuck and some of the great times we have together and I cherish. I would have sent him the song, but I know I've already sent it to him… along with over 200 others which I never updated on here like I promised. So here is a list of those songs that I have sent him so far (some being far apart from each other in time). In case you don't know, I send Chuck songs to kind of remind him that I love him. I think it's a sweet gesture.

Song number 206 (Five for Fighting's - All I know) from "Chicken Little" the movie is a song I suggest you download if you like Five's other songs. The movie Chicken Little wasn't great, just ok, but this song has a pretty romantic feeling to it. I really love their 100 years song on their album.

Kimberly Locke - 8th World Wonder
Michelle Branch - It's you
Leanne Rimes - This Love
Foreigner - I don't want to live without you
Shania Twain - From this moment (6)
Etta James - At Last (7)
Vanessa Carlton - Pretty Baby (8)
Martina McBride - Valentine (9)
Clay Aiken - The Way (10)
Madonna - Cherish (11)
Sarah Brightman - All I ask of you (phantom 12)
Martina McBride - I love you (13)
Monica - Angel of Mine (14)
Shanice - Saving Forever for you (15)
Norah Jones - The Nearness of You (16)
Etta James - At Last (17)
The Bangles - Eternal Flame (18)
Bette Midler - The Rose (19)
Madonna - Crazy for you (20)
Kci and Jojo - Tell me it's Real (21)
98 Degrees - I do (Cherish you) (22)
Jessica Simpson - I wanna love you forever (23)
The Coors - Breathless (24)
UB40 - Can't help falling in love (25)
Donna Lewis - I love you always forever (26)
Belinda Carlisle - I get Weak (27)
All 4 one - I swear (28)
JOJO Feat. BOW WOW - Baby It's U (29)
Billie Myers - Kiss the Rain (30)
Janis Joplin - My Baby (31)
Celine Dion - If that's what it takes (32)
Janet Jackson - When I think of you (33)
Leann Rimes - I need you (34)
Mariah Carey - When I saw you (35)
Mary Chapin Carpenter - Passionate Kisses (36)
Savage Garden - I knew I loved you (37)
Sonny and Cher - I Got you Babe (38)
Atomic Kitten - The Tide is High (39)
Chingy - Right Thurr (40)
Gigi D'Agostino - Your Love (Elisir) (41)
Alison Krauss - When you say nothing at all (42)
Leann Rimes - How Do I Live (43)
Shania Twain - Forever and For Always (44)
Alanis Morissette - Everything (45)
Moulin Rouge - Your Song (46)
Dana Glover - It is you (I have Loved) (47)
Seal - Waiting for You (48)
When in Rome - The Promise (Tony Moran mix) (49)
The Cranberries - Dreams (50)
Moulin Rouge - Come what may (51)
Bonnie Raitt - You Got It (52)
The Divinyls - I Touch Myself (53)
Shania Twain - I'm Gonna Getcha Good (54)
Toy box - Superduper Man (55)
Toy box - Teddy Bear (56)
Crazytown - Butterfly (57)
Bette Midler - To Deserve You (58)
Bette Midler - Thats how love moves (59)
Christina Aguilera - I turn to you (60)
Jody Whatley - All the way to heaven (61)
KC and Jojo - All my Life (62)
Michael Bolton - Once in a Lifetime (63)
Josh Groban - When you say you love me (64)
Shanice - I love your Smile (65)
Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give you up (66)
Edwin McCain - I'll be (67)
Taylor Dayne - I'll Always Love you (68)
No Doubt - Underneath it All (69)
Belinda Carlisle - I get weak (REPEAT 70)
Roger - I want to be your man (71)
Peter Cetera - One Good Woman (72)
Bette Midler - In my life (73)
Brandy - Sittin' up in my room (74)
Jessica Simpson - Underneath (75)
Pretenders - I'll Stand by You (76)
Jim Brickman & Christina Aguilera - Destiny (77)
Jeff Healey Band - Angel Eyes (78)
Donna Summer - This Time I Know it's for Real (79)
Joe Cocker - You are so beauitful (80)
Peter Cetera - Glory of Love (81)
Belinda Carlisle - Mad About You (82)
Jim Brickman - Beautiful (83)
Jessica Simpson - For your Love (84)
Chantal Kreviazuk - Feels like home (85)
Chicago - You're the Inspiration (86)
Richard Marx - Now and Forever (87)
Bryan Adams - (everything I do) I do it for you (88)
Grease - You're the one that i want (89)
Paula Abdul - Rush Rush (90)
Escape Club - I'll be There (91)
UB40 - The Way you do the things you do (92)
Janet Jackson - Alright (93)
Amy Grant - Baby Baby (94)
Celine Dion - I'm your Angel (95)
Proclaimers - I'm Gonna Be (500 miles) (96)
SWV - Right Here Human Nature (97)
Gloria Esteban - I see your Snile (98)
Bette Midler - The Glory of Love (99)
Jim Brickman Collin Raye & Susan Ashton - The Gift (100)
Whitney Houston - I Believe in you and me (101)
Aerosmith - I Don't want to miss a thing (102)
Robyn - Show Me Love (103)
Leann Rimes - Looking Through Your Eyes (104)
98 Degrees - Because of You (105)
Jesse McCartney - Beautiful Soul (106)
Celine Dion - Faith (107)
Roberta Flack - The First Time ever I Saw Your Face (108)
Ashlee Simpson - Peices of Me (109)
Martina McBride - There you Are (110)
BBMAK - Back Here (111)
Savage Garden - Crash and Burn (112)
Tim Mcgraw - Best Friends (113)
Kelly Clarkson - Anytime (114)
Clay Aiken - I will carry you (115)
Celine Dion - Then you look at me (116)
Journey - Faithfully (117)
Billy Joel - Just the Way you are (118)
DJ Sammy - Heaven {Yanou's Candlelight Mix} (119)
Elton John - This is Your Song (120)
Billy Joel - You're my Home (121)
Faith Hill - Breathe (122)
Sonique - It Feels so Good (123)
Celine Dion - That's the Way it is (124)
Jo Dee Messina - That's the Way it is (125)
Lee Anee Womack - I hope you dance (126)
Faith Hill - The Way you Love me (127)
Dixie Chicks - Cowboy Take me Away (128)
Alicia Keys - If I Ain't Got You (piano vocal version) (129)
Whitney Houston - My Love is your Love (dance remix) (130)
Karla Bonoff - Standing Right Next to me (131)
Pandora - Don't Worry (132)
Carly Simon - Something Wonderful (133)
Jefferson Starship - Nothing's gonna stop us now (134)
Kylie Minogue - Love at First Sight (135)
Ashlee Simpson - Lala (136)
Katrina and the Waves - Walking on Sunshine (137)
Hoobastank - The Reason (138)
Natalie Cole - This will be an Everlasting Love (139)
Uncle Sam Band - When I see you Smile (140)
Wynonna Judd - You were Loved (141)
Minnie Riperton - Lovin You (142)
Carly Simon - Nobody Does it better (143)
Myra - Miracles Happen (when you believe) (144)
Natural - Put your arms around me (145)
Oasis - Wonderwall (146)
Debbie Boone - You light up my life (147)
The Calling - Wherever you will go (148)
Soluna - For all time (149)
Sophie B. Hawkins - As I lay me down (150)
Kylie Minogue - Outta My Head (151)
Jade - Every day of the week (152)
Michael Jackson - Will you be there (153)
Brandy - Baby (154)
Firehouse - I live my life for you (155)
Willie Nelson - Always on My Mind (156)
Lindsay Pagano - Everything U R (157)
Air Supply - Even the nights are better (158)
38 Special - Caught up in you (159)
Police - Every little thing she does is magic (160)
Kenny Rogers - Lady (161)
When in Rome - The Promise (Tony Moran Mix) (162)
Finch - Letters to You (163)
Crystal Gayle & Eddie Rabbitt - You and I (164)
Deniece Williams - Let's Hear it for the boy (165)
Sunscreem - Love U More (Billys Remix) (166)
Sergio Mendes - Never Gonna let you go (167)
Styx - Babe (168)
Dionne Warwick - I'll never love this way again (169)
Sarah Brightman - Heaven Is Here (170)
Natalie Cole - Unforgettable (171)
Dido - Don't Leave Home (172)
Jim Brickman - Your Love (173)
Rascal Flatts - Bless the Broken Road (174)
Jim Brickman - Love of my life (175)
Cars - Magic (176)
Sheriff - When I'm with you (177)
Vonda Shepard - Hooked on a feeling (178)
Shedaisy - Before Me and You (179)
Deniece Williams - Let's Hear it for the boy (180)
Du (Onyuru Remix) (181)
Pretty Poison - Catch Me (I'm Falling) (182)
Archies - Sugar Sugar (183)
The Corrs - Runaway (Tin Tin Out Remix) (184)
Rex Smith - You Take My Breath Away (185)
Babys - Every Time I Think Of You (186)
Robert Palmer - Bad Case Of Lovin' You (187)
Exile - Kiss You All Over (188)
Barry Manilow - Can't Smile Without You (189)
Heatwave - Always and Forever (190)
Kenny Loggins & Stevie Nicks - Whenever I Call You Friend (191)
Paul Mccartney & Wings - My Love (192)
Stevie Wonder - You Are the Sunshine Of My Life (193)
Kiss - I Was Made for Lovin' You (194)
TLC - Baby - Baby - Baby (195)
Emotions - Best of my love (196)
The Platters - Only You (197)
Joe Cocker - You are so beautiful (198)
Bobby Darin - You're the reason I'm living (199)
Doris Troy - Just One Look (200)
Josh Groban - You Raise me up (201)
Amy Grant - Every Heartbeat (202)
Sarah Mclachlan - Answer (203)
Whitney Houston - If you say my eyes are beautiful (204)
Bill Withers - Just the Two of Us (205)
Five For Fighting - All I know (206)
Barbara Lewis - Baby, I'm Your's. (207)

Bitch, bitch, bitch..

2006-07-19T06:56:00.000-05:00

Hey, not much new going on.

I love the ZEN. I finally got it to where I put in most of my music collection and two movies (Finding Nemo and Toy Story 2) in it. I can never get enough of those 2 movies. I finally got Chuck to watch Finding Nemo. I don't think he really enjoyed it though. Sometimes I wonder how such opposites can attract and stay together. He used to throw a small fit whenever I mentioned watching either movie. And sadly enough they are my favorite movies. Weird to say this, but it felt like he didn't care about anything I enjoyed and seemed more concerned about himself. I know a part of that isn't true, but subconsciously you wonder… why won't he do anything that I want, like watch those 2 movies or show me some love by him taking actions on cuddling. I'm always the one who pets him and he lays on me, but why can't the roles be reversed? I've asked him this, and he says well you just need to tell me. Somehow in the moment you don't want to have to tell you partner to "Cuddle with me". You just want it to happen and be offered.

His ex Tiffany (yes he has a female ex that he had a daughter with) seems to be trying to get back in his life. She disappears for the longest time without hearing a word, and now all of the sudden they are buddy buddy again. I find this weird too.

Ok, I just had to get those off my chest.

I've been worried about money lately too. Now it's time to bitch out my ex Kevin. He offered a few months back to send me a check since he had told Maria to keep half of my security deposit since we used to live together. But back then he offered up half of his deposit to me and said I could have it because he moved out early and broke our lease. Well Maria didn't pay me that part of the security deposit because Kevin told her to keep it. He claimed to feel bad about it and offered to send me a check since it was his fault for telling her that. Well I have yet to see that check and honestly money is extremely tight right now. I don't know how I'm going to get by until my next check. No shopping for food and gas is going to have to be a priority to save up for to get to work until I get my next paycheck.

Being sarcastic I wanna say "Thank you Kevin!"

Now who else can I bitch about?

I don't want to turn my entire blog into a negative one where all I do is bitch all the time. I feel bad enough I don't write near as often in here. I sometimes feel like I want to get back into writing every day… even going back and doing my songs again. But other times I feel like I have nothing to say or I've lost my audience anyways so why bother.

I have a lot on my mind though and this seems like a cheap outlet. If someone reads this and doesn't like what I have to say, tough… this is how I feel and I wanted to say it.

Another cheap outlet is piano playing which I might start up again. Since the move I haven't touched my keyboard, but it was great stress relief. So either I need to get out and exercise, play the piano, write a blog, or find some other new hobby to get my mind off things. Oh, and the ZEN has helped me keep sanity at work. Without music I don't know where I would be right now.

Plastic Angel

2006-07-05T14:13:00.000-05:00

So it's been a long time since I last wrote. I haven't had much time to focus on writing like I sometimes want to :( It just seems each time I turn around something else takes preference over this blog.

I'm doing well and glad to say with a big smile that it's official, everything has been changed over to Maryland now. Without going into details it was just a pain in the you know what to get my car transferred over. To many steps, and to much stress along the way with it. But it's done and I'm very happy that it is.

I also purchased a ZEN Vision M for my birthday present with some gift money I received. It's one of the best presents I have ever bought. It's so handy being able to carry around my entire music collection on one small device. My collection wouldn't fit on it regularly, but through some WMA compression I was able to take every song I care about with me, and even then some. This device could be called my "plastic angel" (after Concrete Angel) because it not only give me music, but music is a huge godsend to me. It puts me in a better mood and I work twice as fast with it so I'm getting more done at work, and I'm happier doing it.

Chuck didn't like the device when I first got it because I admit I spent way to much time on the computer trying to get everything just the way I wanted it. Most of that reason isn't the device's fault at all, but my own. When I purchased the device it was also the exact same time I went under official beta testing of Windows Vista Beta 2. So I was deleting old crap off of my hard drive to make room for it when I accidentally click on a windows file I shouldn't have. So I crashed XP and had to reinstall. Due to the reinstall of XP nothing seemed to work right and installing the ZEN drivers just added to the mess. I had old Windows Media Player 11 files trying to work with the Windows Media player 10 files.. Etc… it was just a nightmare and it just wouldn't let me play music or sync the device.

Now with a lot of effort and many hours I have my computer pretty much flowing again on both XP and Vista. And now I'm able to use the device without having issues like I did before. So it's worth every penny and hour in my mind because it has put me in a better mood and made me get things done that I wouldn't have had time for in the past. Funny how I (and others) can work faster with a little bit of music.

Comments!!

2006-06-02T09:42:00.000-05:00

Hey gang,

I just realized I clicked on moderate comments in blogger and didn't know where to moderate them until now. So I finually read a bunch of comments that have just been sitting there for like a month! Sorry about that! I turned it on because someone was spamming them with advertisments for things like penis enlargements, etc... not something I want to see on my blog, lol.

Things are goin ok for us right now. We did talk about the previous issue and I'm hoping we are both clear where each other comes from.

We were without heat for about 2 days since the AC broke at the apartment. I got extremely moody from it since it felt about 100 in the apartment. Basically the unit broke, I called them to come fix it. Chuck was home when they came by and they told him it had to much freon (sp) in it. So they claimed they fixed it and left the unit on. When I got home the unit was pumping out heat... I mean extreme heat. I just opened the door and it rushed into the hallway. I was sweating most of the evening and during the night actually slept with ice packs. Eventually they fixed it and it was the compressor engine that needed to be replaced. Now we got AC again, and I'm much happier.

I'm a little nervous about taking a day off in the very near future to go to the stupid MVA to change over my driver's license and car. It sounds like the process isn't as easy as just walking in and getting shit done. I apparently have to fill out a bunch of forms and mail off a form to the people I pay my car payments to so that they can send the title information back to the MVA before I can get my car registered in MD. What a pain in the you know what! Hopefully it isn't a stressful process. Once this is done I'll feel a lot better and will be happier that pretty much everything is done with moving to MD.

I'm sure I bored you all... I want to have a little free time this weekend to update this page. I lost my old server that stored pictures of the background and title. I wish I knew of a free service that I could store pictures on. If you guys know of one let me know please. A service that doesn't mind you linking outside to pics and doesn't stamp the pictures with their logo. This gives me an oppertunity to freshen up this page some :)

What's in your car?

2006-05-19T09:43:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Haven't been in much of a mood to type. Not necessarily a bad mood, just wanted to do other things.

I'm doing ok, a little concerned about Chuck and I. There is something about the way he acts towards certain things that leaves me with suspicion sometimes. It's so hard to trust someone that has done things and lied behind your back… you know I thought we were doing pretty good there for a while but there are little things that I just wish he would either confess or just become different about the way he acts towards these things.

I'll give you an example. The other day he lost the mailbox key. I was greeted when I got home to an "I'm sorry, I lost the mailbox key". I'm not really that irritated about this since now I know it only costs $15.00 for a new one from the place we rent. BUT at the time I asked the simple questions, "Do you remember when you last had it?" type of deal. He said he thinks he lost it while getting out of his car. So almost immediately I ask politely if I can search his car. You know, he said he already looked through it, but I always figure 4 eyes are better then 2. Sometimes some one will spot something the other doesn't. A great example of this is a game I downloaded called Mystery Case Files. You have to look at the pictures for objects, when we play together we play best because one of us will spot something the other may totally miss. Anyways, back to the story.. So he acts a little defensive when I ask and kind of reluctantly says yes. Then since I don't usually go to the bathroom at work (the bathrooms are nasty) I head for the bathroom to do my business and get changed out of my work clothes. Before you know it Chuck is out the door. I spot him going through his car in the parking lot. When I get down there he moves a side and stands behind me and watches every little move I do as I look through the car. So because of that and the fact he flew down there made me suspicious that he went ahead and hid something.

This actually isn't the first time this has happened in his car. Sometimes on trips things bounce out of hand or what not and when I offer to look for it while he is driving he always tries to stop me and says "I'll look for it later" or "Let me look for it". When I start digging around to look for it anyways he gets very defensive and I can see in his eyes he doesn't like that I'm looking for it.

Here all I'm trying to do is help out, and usually I end up getting denied or chewed out some how.

Chuck I believe went away to his parents this weekend, at least that is what he was saying since he has some vacation time and wants to get away. Well hopefully while he is gone he either realizes that it's not that big of a deal if I want to go look through his car IF I'm not going to find something I shouldn't. I mean hello, we are a couple and treat most of our items as for the both of us. He uses my car all the time and I have no issue with him looking through my things. He says he would never do that, but I don't care. That isn't the issue that he wouldn't look, the issue is that here I'm trying to help out and look and he doesn't want me to. Which is why I do have trust issues with him. He can get very sneaky about things. He also gets frustrated to easily… an example of this is about a week ago he has this friend named Chris who IM's his phone. It's to the point where his phone is about to blow up with IM's so I asked what are they talking about. He seemed very frustrated that I asked such a simple question. He often asks me if something like that happens to me and has even stood behind me while I read and write e-mails to people but I'm not supposed to get involved with his business. He tells me I spy and look at his things which honestly is true because I feel like he is always hiding something and I have to, to find out what is going on with him. Plus with his past and affairs I do feel more secure if I every so often look around and know everything is ok. I know that is unhealthy and is probably the reason why he acts the way he does, but I just wish we had a little more open door policy so to speak and he would be more inclined to share his life with me and not hide or act like he is hiding something. It just really gets old to know he is going to get defensive if I ask him what is going on, what he is talking about or to whom, and if God forbid he lose something in his car I can't help out in finding it because he doesn't want me looking around in it.

I really wish I could just trust again. And have had moments where it seems like I have… but then little weird things happen that make me get back on the fence. I do hope both of us can drop our guards and actually live like we are a couple. We have talked many times about it so in this case I felt like I should write my blog to get some of it off my chest and hope things get better.

Frederick MD

2006-04-24T13:29:00.000-05:00

So things are going alright at the new place. Not much to really say about it. It's quiet for the most part, although one night there were some drunk people out in the parking lot at like 2 am reving there car engine trying to show it off to friends. This kind of pissed me off because it's that late and he just wouldn't stop. The sounds went on for several minutes. I was hoping he would over heat and his engine would be fried... sadly enough that didn't happen.

Frederick is home of one thing that is sorta famous.. Thomas's english muffins. Chuck and I took a drive and saw a pretty big area with the road name with something like Muffin, and then saw the company sign say "Home of Thomas's English Muffins". Kind of cool, but if that is the biggest most famous thing about Frederick then it's pretty sad ;) I think the whole Blair Witch project thing happened kind of close to us as well.

I do love those muffins though.

Everything is going ok for the most part. I've been tired a lot lately due to waking up earlier. Chuck broke up with me one day, but we are back together now.

My car had $403 dollars in brake work done to it, so that kind of put me in a slumber until my mom told me she would pay for it. On this I shall say I'm really pissed off at my ex Kevin. He said when he broke up with me and moved out that I could have his half of his security deposit (since he moved out early before the lease was done) and I took the burden of the entire room expense. Now he told Maria (the person who owns the condo that we were renting from until recently) that she should keep his half of the deposit. I was so upset because I really needed that money for the brakes... but since my mom was an angel and paid for it I'm not worrying as much about that money, but it still really pisses me off. I don't think I'll be talking to him for a very long time. Somehow I always feel like I'm getting screwed over. Well one day I hope things are reversed. I won't put revenge on them, but I hope they see what they have done and regret it.

Yes, I'm in one of those moods, lol. Happy with certain things, really annoyed at others.

It's about fucking time...

2006-04-09T21:22:00.000-05:00

I gave you an update. I'm sitting in the new living room with a smile. It's peaceful here and things just seem nicer. People are much friendlier in this area. They actually stop and say Hi sometimes. That never happens where we were at before. There people are to in a rush, and thinking about how good they look and what more can they acquire. It's a much more simple life out here and I like it.

The move was a major headache and a half. The movers didn't show up when we scheduled. I had to take off an extra day off of work (had already scheduled several for the move). And that was bothering me, going back to a huge pile. Thankfully while we could forget some of the people I work with, others seem like my extended family and helped with my work while I was gone. I really do love some of the people I work with. Some of them are really good people.

So I really don't know what all to tell you. I'm starting to feel comfortable with the new place... it's already starting to be "home". The drive into work is 40 miles each way... yeah that must be hell... but it isn't that bad honestly. I get home sooner then I did living 17 miles from it. And the traffic is almost always moving. While the other ride was congested. In fact, believe it or not I get about the same gas mileage I did before. Since there isn't a lot of stop and go. Now I just wish gas would go down in price ;)

This apartment building is pretty quiet. I haven't heard a peep from the neighbors (except when they are in the hallway). Which is a 180 degree turn from the old place. Which brings me to a shameful thing I did.....

At the old place there was a teenager that often would turn up his music. Enough to where our mirrors and pictures on the wall would shake with the bass. After an hour of throbbing it starts pissing you off. Well I'm not always a good person... I have the pride of having a copy of the key to the circuit breaker area to all the apartments (main circuit). I doubt any body in the building we were in had it (and it's a long story how I got the key). So if the boy got on my last nerve I would head to the building the breakers were in, open up the locked area and push the button to there apartment... and BOOM, there power is out. I would just leave it off long enough to give him the hint that maybe he should find something else to do besides play his loud music. Hopefully I didn't give them all some food poisoning from the fridge and freezer being off ;)

Anyways, I wanted to let you know I'm ok. We both are ok. And pretty happy about being at the new place. It was definately a step in the right direction. Although poor Chuck probably didn't think that once we first moved here. I got pretty bitchy about it. I'm the type of person that hates living out of boxes, while Chuck wouldn't mind it at all. So I did get upset several times about him not unpacking and me doing the work. I just had to get things unpacked. Getting home and seeing boxes all around wasn't helping me enjoy the new place. The majority of the unpacking is done now though, and the only thing that I'm still looking for is my cell phone charger. Hopefully soon I'll find it.

A New Chapter

2006-03-22T21:13:00.000-05:00

Hey all,

Just wanted you to know that a new chapter is about to start in my life. Sorry I haven't written much lately, but it's been because of everything going on in my life. Well after many ups and downs the past week (a down being we didn't get the house we wanted) it's that time to move on. Chuck and I move into our new apartment on Friday. I've been packing for about a week and tomorrow is our last night at the place where it all began.

While Chuck really doesn't care for this area, I have a ton of memories here so I'm definately fond of it. I'll miss the place. But I have to admit I'm excited about what lies ahead. We move to a much nicer, bigger, cheaper apartment in Frederick MD. The apartment is newer, cleaner, and has amenities that our currently place of $300 more doesn't. And I'm only 7 more miles from work. So it seems like the smart choice at the moment. In fact I feel in a slight way I've been ripped off spending so much more for an apartment with so much less. But that is called "location". And while good ol' Fairfax may not seem like the middle of anything special it's well known in these parts to be the rich/snotty suburb of DC. It's where you can find the Tiffany's and Versace. So while that can be nice in some situations, it also can leave a person feeling seperated from "real" life with "real" people.

Also it well be nice to have a place that really is our own. We were living in my friends condo, renting from her. While she is my friend there are things that did get on my nerves being in her place. For one, while we paid rent for the entire place she never seemed to move out. A room full of her items remained behind. This never made it feel like it was completely ours. And the stuff just got in the way. We never could arrange our furniture the way we liked because her couch was taking up a complete wall when we also have a couch of our own. Also things never seemed to be in great working order. The balcony is a serious danger (several boards you could fall threw, when using the microwave the circuit breaker always blows, and the AC is about 50 years old and never completely got cold. I feel like I was wasting money all summer on $180 dollar electric bills to just stay warm since the thing never cooled off the place.

So looking ahead to a clean apartment with new appliances and a clean slate with nothing but our stuff puts a big smile on my face.

So I hope you understand my departure from my blog and life lately... it's been scheduled lately. I'm still alive and well, just keep me in your thoughts and throw some luck our way on moving day to make sure everything goes ok.

House/Apt hunting

2006-03-08T00:01:00.000-05:00

Man was Sunday a story.. Chuck and I have been house/apartment hunting. We were approved for a house loan about a week ago, but the loan isn't exactly the best one we could probably get. So we are still looking for a better option/loan. In the mean time I'm more then likely either going to transfer my job (which is what I'm really hoping for) or temporary have to quit and look for another job. My job is really getting to me and I need to get out of there to keep my sanity and have a home life. Lately I've been living more at work then at home. And it's really getting to me.

If I get the transfer I put in for then I could be just 5 minutes away from the job when we move and I think the job I would transfer to would be a lot less stressful since it's a small division of our company. I currently work for the IT sector which has about 40,000 employees. The new one I would be going to has 350 employees.

So we put in 3 applications for different apartments we would like to live in, and if we get a better loan then we are very interested in putting a contract on a house.

During this whole process I lost my W2 (which was my proof of SS# since I lost my card) at a grocery store. I panicked cuze it has a lot of personal info on that bitch. We drove around and looked everywhere I had been at to that point that day. I had a gut feeling it was at the grocery store and when we went back there I went to customer service and luckily someone had turned it in.

The people we met were pretty interesting characters. Like the realtor we are working with has 5 children and her husband is handicapped and in a wheel chair. The people who are selling the house we would love to buy were cool. At first when they saw 2 guys trying to buy the place I saw the husband give an interesting look, but whatever he thought maybe faded quickly because he seemed to be a really nice guy.

The highlight of the day was an old house we looked at. Beautiful big house for $190,000. This house belongs in the movies. But I'm talking one of those movies with pyscho killers involved. You walk into the house and immediately see this house has a story to tell. First, it's built around the 1900's. All stone, amazing house and with some work you could turn the place into probably a million dollar home.

Now the thing you first walk into right from the foyer is what the current owners made into a bedroom. Weird I thought.. well it gets MUCH weirder. Right next to that room is a huge room just as big (guessing like 20x20 room) that has a tub in the middle of it, a ceiling fan hanging right above it with a cord attached that reaches down right above the tub, a toilet in the middle of one of the walls and a shower in the corner. Now if only I had pictures so you could see this. It sounds pretty impressive right? Well it wasn't at all. It looked like someone turned in the dinner room into a huge bathroom because they got high one day and thought it would be a great idea. Nothing made sense. The ceiling was falling apart and if you pulled that chain attached to the fan, you could almost see that fan falling into the tub slicing someone's head off or electricuting them!

The place was dark, old, and dirty... needing repair. Oh and get this, the house had NO KITCHEN! None. The closest thing to it was a sink in a room. Nothing more, nothing less. Just a sink on the wall. no cabinets, no appliances... Guess the owners ate out all the time.

Someone who was working on repairing the place looked like they went mental while planning it all out. The place had a new water heater, clothes washer and dryer, heating and cooling, an alarm system... yet the ceiling and floors were falling apart and a bathroom in the middle of no where and no kitchen. Nothing made sense in the house. But it was great! If I were a movie maker I would so see that house in the perfect horror movie or ghost flick.

Anyways, I got more to tell but I'm taking a break and hanging with my pup.

Interesting quiz...

2006-02-28T22:02:00.000-05:00

Here is an interesting quiz I took online. Hopefully I'll have some huge good news to report to you soon maybe? *keeping my fingers crossed*

You are a
Social Conservative
(5% permissive)

and an...
Economic Liberal
(21% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Centrist

You exhibit a very well-developed sense of Right and Wrong

and believe in economic fairness.

Link: The Politics Test

Fall 2006

2006-02-25T08:49:00.000-05:00

Already thinking about what you are going to wear in the Fall of 2006? I know I'm not. But if you are or want to just see what's hot click here. You can also see pervious seasons as well.

Here are some pics to show you want the designers were thinking would be hot for the Fall 2006.

Click to make bigger

Something strange

2006-02-23T00:28:00.000-05:00

Hey all, just wanted to let you know that I'm ok.

I had 2 blasts from the past contact me today. One I haven't spoken to in over 10 years (before I was 'gay'). Another one more recent but both shocked the hell out of me.

On a different note my friend Chris from now Las Vegas was in town today. I feel really bad for not getting the chance to hang out with him. We also go many years... I originally known him while he was in Delaware... then he moved to North Carolina for a few years, then recently Vegas. Chris if you read this I'm sorry. I hope you get the job and that you'll move to the area so I'll have a good buddy to hang out with then. Chris is someone I conpletely trust. As he does with me. And you don't get to many friends like that. For instance he texted me while I was at work on my cell phone (which sometimes works if I put the phone on the floor, weird I know) and he asked me to log into his e-mail (he gave me his password) and told me to pull up the directions emailed to him to the job and text it to his phone so he could get there since it almost seemed like he could be lost. Not many friends would just give out their passwords like that and have total trust about what I could see or do with it. He's also given me his other logins in the past as well so we could play online games. Chris is one of my best friends... now getting Chuck to understand that can be hard. Chuck has his friend Mike that he is extremely close with (somebody he tells everything to), now maybe one day he'll see that his Mike is my Chris. I tell everything to Chris. Doesn't mean I'm going to run away with him. If it did that would mean Chuck wants to run away with Mike now doesn't it? ;) I just feel uncomfortable talking with Chris lately since I feel like Chuck gets jealous of him. Even though Chuck and Mike have dated and slept together in the past (which Chris and I have not done), they have formed a friendship rather then a relationship. Some people are better off as friends and I think Chuck feels that with Mike. I don't suspect anything from those two as he shouldn't with Chris and I.... get the picture where I'm going with this? LOL

Anyways, something strange about me... final one and rather boring... I have abnormal sized pupils... well yeah I do and the doctors have told me that the babies I have are extremely rare in size when dialated. Ok something else weird since I feel like that was a let down for you... Cheese and mayo, I put like cheese and mayo on everything. Ok maybe not everything, but I could and be happy. Something else weird, donuts make me instantly happy. I'm sure I could go on and on and I'm sure as you continue to read (if I have any readers left LOL) you'll learn many more strange things about me.

Happy Valentines Day! Something Strenge 6

2006-02-14T17:40:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to wish you all a happy Valentines day. Hope you have a good one :)

On something very strange about me... I cry whenever I hear the song Nessun Dorma played. My piano teacher once told me my past life must have had something very strong with that song. I'm not sure I believe in a past life... but if I did this song definately had something to do with it (or connected to a powerful memory). I have no idea why I just start crying to it though. Strange I know!

Something Strange about me 5 of 7

2006-02-10T22:58:00.000-05:00

I have been known to grind my teeth (sometimes really hard) at night while I sleep. It doesn't happen all the time, but usually when I'm having a nightmare or really bad stress. I really wonder what my teeth are made out of because several people have told me it sounds like I shouldn't have any with the grinding I have done.

BTW- Watching the opening ceremonies right now of the Olympics. They did a pretty good job on these... although I think the 80's american music with the athletes walking in was cool to listen to but didn't fit the moment or the place.

Something strange about me 4 of 7

2006-02-09T06:45:00.000-05:00

I get worked up when I lift weights. And this has nothing to do with my surroundings. It's just this feeling of pushing your muscles to the limits that really get the blood flowing. I haven't lifted in a while, but when I used to I felt really good during and after a workout.

Something strange about me 3 of 7

2006-02-08T09:43:00.000-05:00

Some of you already know this one from some posts a long time ago.

I love reality TV. It's completely opposite of reality, maybe that is why I love it ;) I can't get enough Real World, Amazing Race, Wife Swap, Survivor.... I can almost bet you I've seen at least one episodes worth of every reality TV show.

Something strange about me 2 of 7

2006-02-07T07:26:00.000-05:00

... and by the way, I love creamy things (to the comment on the last blog), LOL

Strange thing about me... I almost feel like I have OCD with certain things. Rare and really out there habits. I wonder how many people out there have a habit that if they really thought about it, it may sound weird or mental. Mine is when I put on my underarm deoderant in the mornings. Under my right arm gets a mega 10 strokes (I know, thats massive protection) no more no less. Under my left arm, 9 strokes. Why one less?? Who in the fuck knows, haha.

Scared of me yet?

Something strange about me 1 of 7

2006-02-06T16:04:00.000-05:00

Decided I would tell you everyday for the next 7 days something strange about me. We have have our issues or things that make us unique so I figured why not write some down.

Something strange about me would be that I don't like slimy textured foods at all. Anything like clams or jello I can not eat. Just something about having that feeling in my mouth that kind of sickens me while I'm trying to chew on it.

West Virginia Winders

2006-02-03T16:23:00.000-05:00

Thought this was funny....

The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs"
Instead of an error message, "Duct Tape" pops up

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN the West Virginia EDITION:

Cancel............stopdat
Reset..............try'er agin
Yes...............yep
No................nope
Find...............hunt fer it
Go to.............over yonder
Back...............back yonder
Help..............hep me out here
Stop...............kwitit (WHOA!)
Start............crank'er up
Settings..........settins
Programs......... stuff at duz stuff
Documents....... stuff ah done did

Also note that the West Virginia EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 2005:

Tiperiter............a word processing program
Colerin' Book.................a graphics program
Cyferin' Mersheen............calculator
Outhouse Paper................notepad
Inner-net....................Microsoft explorer 5.0
Pitchers.......................a graphics viewer

Food Lion isn't dirty

2006-01-23T17:45:00.000-05:00

Found this kind of interesting on a Dataline article I was reading on MSN....

From the supermarket chain that kept things cleanest, to
the one with the poorest performance in our survey, here’s Dateline’s
"Supermarkets Sweep." This is a list where nobody wants to be number one. (From
the fewest violations to the most):

10) Food Lion. The grocery chain
that did best in our survey? Food Lion. For every 10 inspections, it averaged 8
critical violations: that’s less than one violation per inspection.

9)
Wal-Mart and Save-a-Lot. Not far behind we had two chains tied for ninth place?
Wal-Mart and Save-a-lot. Over 10 inspections both averaged 9 critical
violations.

7) Costco and Sam's Club. Tied for seventh place, Costco and
Sam’s Club. Both averaged 12 critical violations — that means a little more than
one violation for each inspection.

5) Winn-Dixie. Next, as we go from
fewest violations to the most, at number five is Winn-Dixie. For every 10
inspections, the chain had 14 critical violations and the stores received most
of their citations for storing toxic chemicals such as cleaning supplies near
food.

4) Kroger. With even more problems, at number four, Kroger— they
an average 17 critical violations.

3) Publix, on average, had 22
critical violations. Dateline visited two stores in Florida and found flies
crawling over the fruits and vegetables. But according to inspectors, the most
frequent problem for the chain was the way it stored toxic chemicals.

2)
Albertsons. For every 10 inspections, 24 critical violations. And a lot were for
improperly stored toxic chemicals.

1) Safeway. Finally, in the spot no
store wants to be number one in Dateline’s “Supermarket Sweep?” Safeway.

Losts of mumbojumbo in that list, but finding Food Lion to be at the top surprised me. I shop there sometimes and never found mine to be dirty or clean.... just somewhere in between. And our Safeway here looks like Mister clean went on speed and decided to spring clean the store. I mean it's super clean.

It is spelled that way! And yes they are stuffed.

2006-01-19T20:27:00.000-05:00

Brokeback mountain is spelled with 2 c's thank you very much (from my pervious post) ! ;) I noticed the past few days that my spelling and grammar have gone out the window. Today at work I received an e-mail from an employee responding to a question I wrote him. Since I receive and answer a few hundred e-mails a day for work I had to reread my e-mail to him to find out what he was talking about and jog my memory.

In that moment I saw the worst e-mail I could have possibly written. It had so many mistakes! I bet the person thinks I'm foreign. I was shocked the person made sense of it and responded without saying anything.

Also at work we have a new employee in our department coming soon. I'm no longer the only male :( I'll miss that. But I wonder how much of a guy this person is... he has a few boxes in his cube that he brought over before hand and my manager saw something fluffy coming out of them. She was curious and opened it up. Turns out they are full of stuffed animals. Looks like we have another fairy onboard , lol. He won't start work until February, but I know the stuffed animals have everyone curious what this guy could be like.

Opposites Attract

2006-01-17T06:41:00.000-05:00

Now how many of you saw that title and thought of Paula Abdul? Well sometimes it doesn't all just work out like the song implies. I'll admit on this post you'll see my evil and picky side.

Let me give you a little back ground. Chuck hates movies. He tells me this often. His excuse is "I can't handle them because they are so long and drawn out"... and then usually adds "You alway watch those sappy/corny movies anyways". The last movie we went to see together was Munich which wasn't that long ago. But guess who's idea it was to see that movie? His. And guess what... that movie was over 3 hours! It wasn't sappy or corny though. So that was in his favor. But before Munich we haven't been to the movies in god knows how long.

Now I'm the opposite. I LOVE movies. I have a huge collection of them at home and would watch a lot more if I didn't compromise. Now that's the key word people... Compromise. I often throw on the History Channel and Discovery Channel just so Chuck can enjoy his TV. Now here is when things start bothering me....

Last night there wasn't much on at the time so Chuck puts on "Latter Days" on LOGO. It's a gay movie, and parts of it are extremely sappy/corny. Everytime I have a movie that I put on Chuck leaves the room without fail. So I decide hey, it's what he does best... so I leave the room. Inside I'm thinking, hey wait a second. Here he is watching a movie and it's a long one and sappy and corny. Maybe the excuse he is giving me is a bunch of bull. He does like sappy, hell he complains when I don't send him e-mails with songs in them.

Anyways I feel kinda pissed at this point. Because this brings up a sour note with us. I LOVE "Finding Nemo". When I bring up this movie or any Pixar movie to Chuck and say I want to see it he says "Finding Nemo is a kids movie, it's not for adults!". So he refuses to watch it. Several times I have wanted to watch it or Toy Story, and he just always says he'll never watch a film like that. Now to all of you guys out there who have seen this movie can state otherwise. In fact, I could probably find in a minute a 100 people (ADULTS) online that love this movie. Hell, it made critics top lists everywhere... and I know I can pull up most of those critics saying this movie isn't just for kids.

So back to the main story, I went to the bedroom and watched something different. He comes in later and I know he is a little upset that I left... Good! He does that to me every single time. Now he knows how it should feel some what. And why on earth can't he compromise with me on this? I mean I've been doing it for a long ass time now with him with his History and Discovery Channel things. He can't seem to give any movie a chance. He goes into it with a negative feeling, and almost refuses to let that feeling go. So even though he could have enjoyed a movie, he didn't because "It's a movie". "Or it's a kids movie".. etc. I have heard come out of his mouth "I will not enjoy Finding Nemo", HE HASN'T SEEN IT YET! How can you say something like that? Just because you may not like Bambi, doesn't mean every "kids" movie as he puts it will be one he won't like.

Anyways, I'm done venting... lets hope he'll open up his mind and compromise every now and then.

Brokebacck Mountain??

2006-01-11T16:13:00.000-05:00

So how good is this movie? I have yet to see it, but everyday I hear more and more in the news about it. It's on DGA & SAG's list of top movies of the year, Roeper and Ebert top ten movies of the year, Writers' & Producers' guilds top 5 movie lists of the year, Seven golden globe nominations, talks of possible Oscar nominations... pratically on every critics list imaginable.

So is it that good? Is it a must see? We nearly went to see this last week, but instead picked Munich. I have to say Munich was an ok movie, tough at times to watch... and other times slowed down to a crawl. Even though I said it was ok, it's not one I would enjoy to see again. The timing (3 hour movie) for what you can sum up in about 5 minutes in plot kind of gets old after the first 2 hours.

LOGO - Open Bar

2006-01-10T06:43:00.000-05:00

I was watching this show called Open Bar on the LOGO channel (the gay and lesbian channel on cable) and saw something that really touched me. This guy on there met up with an ex of his that he still really had feelings for. The ex wanted to go out partying and they went to a gay strip club. At the club the stripper started flirting with the ex BF first. And the ex was all up into it, totally making out with the stripper. When the stripper moved to the main character the guy just kinda ignored the stripper. The stripper asked "Are you shy?" and the guy responded "No, I'm being smart".

With that the stripper walked away. And for that moment I was like shit, there are decent guys out there. The guy even though it was an outting with an ex didn't feel the need to do that. He still had feelings for the ex and it showed that any guy in front of him didn't compare to the guy he was with. And also he was thinking about his well being and health as well. Of course he did make his ex feel pretty shitty because after saying a comment like that he made it look like his ex was being stupid. But that wasn't what was intended.

So, on another subject... I'm doing good. Had a past few good days with not much to worry about with work. Things are finually starting to return to normal and I can breathe again :) Now I feel the need to get in touch with all of those people I used to talk to and find out how they are all doing. Kevin, Dre, Rachel, Chris.... some of my dear friends whom I lost contact with due to the overload of the end of year crap we do at work. And get back on track with you guys as well.

Piano and other crap

2006-01-02T13:23:00.000-05:00

Sup yo? ;) Here is that first piano piece I composed about a few months into my training with it in high school. It's simple and you can tell it's from a beginner although it is much more complicated then the average "Mary had a little lamb". I advanced way faster then anyone else in my class. While most of the students at the end of the term were working on "When the Saints go marching in", I was already doing the entire "Fur Elise" which to this day few people play all of it or even know there is more to it then just the first few bars.

Waves of time (part 1) by me (I revisited this piece in college when I was required to write a musical which I called "Waves of time" were I wrote approximately 40+ songs for my project for music theory). This was recorded on the new keyboard right before Christmas for my mom whom I made a CD full of me playing the piano of her.

On a more random note Chuck used a few of my hangers for his clothes and bought me new ones.... when I looked at them I had to look twice because on the label it says "Easy to clean!" Why on earth would they be so excited (yellow bolded lettering) for plastic hangers to be easy to clean is beyond me.

I had a good couple of holidays but I'm ready to get back into the daily swing of things. I hope you all had a good one as well. I'll write more very soon.

Happy Holidays

2005-12-26T11:57:00.000-05:00

Hey gang,

Just wanted to wish you all Happy Holidays. I'm sure I'll write more soon. All in all I had a pretty good Christmas this year. I heard from past friends Rachel and David which I wasn't really expecting as well. So that was kinda nice. David sent me 2 cd's of music that he thought I would enjoy (this is one of my buds from Washington state). Chuck got kinda jealous by that cause I think he reads into it by what he thinks is some random guy sending me music. But it isn't that case at all and I hope he realises that at some point. But thanks David for getting me in trouble *kidding*. As some of you guys know I'm really into music. And in fact in the next few posts I'm going to post the first composition I had ever composed. It's simple and lacks a lot, but hey it means a lot to me. You have to think for someone that had very little training in piano (about a few months worth) and creating a peice of music, it isn't to bad. I recorded it and a few other songs for my mom and sister as bonus Christmas gifts. I'm sure that it meant a lot to them as my mom started to cry as she received that gift. She loves my piano playing and it brings back some great memories for her. She even had the piano tuned so that I could play this Christmas for her.

So before blabbling even more thank you guys for a nice year all around and may you and yours have a Happy Holiday season.

Bad boys, whatcha gonna do?

2005-12-15T14:40:00.000-05:00

I thought this was pretty funny so I thought I would share... (Santa and the Cops)

Best gay blog

2005-12-14T10:59:00.000-05:00

Ok, who nominated me for best gay blog of 2005? I just received an e-mail that I was nominated for this.

I want to thank you for that... honestly though I feel unworthy of this nomination. I haven't been blogging as much lately mainly due to work and being depressed (I'm sure we all go through these periods). I really wish I could blog more. Boy do I have some stories to tell and gossip that would .... ok I'm not to that point yet :-P

If you do want to vote for me click here or the above link. I'm on # 3 "What is the best other gay blog?" and select "Kinda like porn" LOL

Thanks for hanging with me, all of you. I'm hoping within a day or 2 to catch up on your blogs as well. Hey, I heard there could be ice and snow in the forcast. That gives me a little extra time to catch up on all of your lives. And if by chance you won the lottery, congrats... and where is my cut!? ;)

You know how I can be random with post topics, so here is another. Don't you just have this love/hate relationship with Christmas? I'm in the mood this year to just get everyone on my list a gift card to all the same store. I'm dreading the shopping I have to do these next few days. I know, how impersonal is that to give everyone that. People love to open up gifts. I do too. But at the same time I figure a gift card isn't a bad thing either. Although like Chuck has stated, it puts an amount on everyone. When if you give a gift, who knows how much you actually spent on them. And to that I kinda go hmmmmm.... I'm not cheap, but that could be a plus. LOL

I still do love the holiday feeling otherwise. I love seeing the decorations and hearing the music. It puts me in a better mood to know I'm not the only soul out there spending the day putting up 1,000+ mini-lights. And shopping could be a plus because I do love to shop, but the crowds are a mess and sometimes people get evil. I'm sure we all could tell some stories about some jerk making it hard on others and seeing that spirit of the season turn into satin of the holidays.

I'm alive

2005-12-12T12:21:00.000-05:00

:-P

Sorry I haven't updated in what seems like forever. Especially after that depressing last post. I'm currently doing ok and thought I would write a quick post to let everyone know. I didn't really touch my computer at all this weekend (except for some ideas for christmas and to catch up on Lost ). It's my new favorite.

But I've been avoiding the computer since I use it all day here at work and sometimes the evenings at home for work. I've been spending some time getting some relief with a new piano keyboard I bought. I had a keyboard before that only had 61 keys. I would bitch each time I played it because me being so into piano in the past I've learned to play some very complicated peices. And 61 keys just doesn't cut it at all for those songs. I felt cramped and upset that I couldn't play any major peice without changing it around because of the lack of keys. So now I have a new one that definately is a major leap ahead in both keys and sound. It sounds like a grand piano no doubt. I thought about maybe if and when I find more time recording a short peice for you to hear me play.

I also got a free upgraded cell phone from Verizon with there "new ever 2". They upgrade your cell phone every 2 years for free. I got a sweet new model that has tons of features. I'm enjoying that and now I just have to program all my old phone numbers into the new phone. And customize it some with pictures and sounds.

Not much else to say because I really should be working on work at this moment... :-P

I hope to be back in the swing of things on here soon.

"Waves of time"

2005-11-29T11:07:00.000-05:00

That was the name of a musical I wrote in college for my minor in music studies (which maybe one day I'll post some more about it). And boy am I going through a wave right now. Honestly I feel like my life means very little lately. BTW, happy belated Thanksgiving. I thought with 5 days off of work I would be all better and revived. I couldn't have been more wrong.

I had free time to play my xbox 360, which BTW is fucking awesome! If any of you use xbox live you can add me as cuteyoboy as a friend. I also had time to start watching this show that everyone I talk with has recommended called "LOST". I didn't realize how good this show was going to be. From the first episode I was majorly hooked. I'm still in season 1 (bout 3/4's through it) so no spoilers if any of you watch it! But I can see why it is one of the top shows on TV right now. The writing and acting are excellent and I heard it only gets better in season 2. It's definately my new favorite and probably all time favorite show. I'm surprised I waited this long to discover something so cool. For any of you who haven't seen it, watch the first episode. You'll either love it or hate it I'm sure.

Otherwise I'm depressed because while Chuck and I had much time together in the same apartment, we literally hardly saw each other at all. He's been to busy with work and playing quizzes online and games. I hate to say it, but I wish his computer would just crash. He spends so much time on that thing and I feel neglected. I understand if he's busy with work, but it's much harder seeing him choose to spend alone time in his room playing or watching TV when I'm just feet away. I mean come on, whats a few minutes spending with me gonna hurt him any? Apparently it will because it seems he is pulling teeth making excuses why he can't spend a few minutes in his day for me. Our relationship is going down hill and I'm scared it's gonna end. I've made this clear to him several times, so now I'm just hoping it sinks in that he could lose me. Maybe that is what he wants... I pray it isn't.

So yeah kids... I'm hear and yet another downhill roller coaster ride has hit me. I don't feel like doing shit anymore and that has shown with this blog. I do want to thank those who have tried to keep in touch. Dre, don't worry.. I got your voice mail and I'll be responding at some point. Same with you Maria... I'll get back to you with all the questions you have here soon. Kevin, Happy Thanksgiving... Chris, I'm sorry I haven't kept in better touch, I hope you are having fun where you moved to and Happy Thanksgiving to you too. And to all the others whom I met online thanks for your kind words. Hopefully this is a good Holiday season for you all.

Insane!!

2005-11-22T16:06:00.000-05:00

Now this is way out insane....(CLICK LINK)

I even have more with my package then this guy is offering. I really wonder how out of proportion will this go. You hsould have seen the lines everywhere.. when driving home I pass by several other stores that carry it and each one of them had hundreds of people waiting outside... and I bet those stores had very few consoles. Most Walmarts got 6 units, I was lucky to get a big Walmart that had a few more.

Got one!! After fights and the cops and offers...

2005-11-22T07:27:00.000-05:00

And what a fucking experience that was. I need to be sleeping at the moment but I had to write up a quick summary...

I went to Best Buy after work for our local stores midnight sale of them. I get there around 5pm and there is a line around the building. BTW, during this whole time it's pouring down raining and windy. Bestbuy employees are telling us to leave because if you got there at this point you ain't gonna get one. I look at the line and think well I know they have 194 units, and I don't think there is that many people. A really nice guy in front of me starts talking and within a few minutes we become buddies. He says to me at this point, "Hey if you hold my spot in line I'll count how many people are in line and see if we actually have a chance.", I say "Deal".

So he goes for a few minutes and comes back with a grand total of 315 people in line, give or take a few. He also said he talked with the manager and he said they actually handed out vouchers earlier in the day and whomever doesn't have one to forget about getting it. So I tell the guy about my friend who works at Walmart and told me they are also selling theirs at midnight, and it's just 2 lights up the road. So I hop in my car and he hops in his truck and we both take off.

I get to Walmart and see a small line out front thinking ok, I may have a chance. I get under a tent they have up and this lady is handing out numbers at the exact same time I get there. What luck!! She annouces there are 14 units available. And I hear people calling out, "I'm 8", "I'm 11" , and then she calls out 13 and no one replies. So I say I guess I'm 13! And she hands me a number. I see my buddy from Best Buy and shot to him, "Get the fuck over here now!" And he runs and he claims the last one, 14. Instantly after that people around the tent going into the store realize what was going on, and we just all joined as a group at that point and said, we got everyones back who has a number. Also the lady informs us that, We'll open the store at 6am to sell you the Xbox 360. My eyes popped out and I question the time with her stating I heard a midnight sale. She said I heard correct, but that Microsoft had originally promised them 50 units, and due to demand outweighting supply could only give out the 14, which lead to "It's not worth keeping the store open for that small amount".

So I'm suddenly in for the long haul. Luckily I had 3 layers of clothes. And since everyone had our backs on the numbers I asked if I could go inside and buy some gloves and a chair since I was cold as hell. Everyone said that was cool and we all became friends.

My buddy was concerned about a few people including me and this mom who was out there for her kid. She was so sweet to us. I told her it must be love to do something like that for a child. Anyways my buddy goes inside and buys a tent and propane burner and all sat very close to the fire and traded stories, what we did for a living, etc. Then someone had a deck of cards and we all started playing poker. It really was a awesome experience. I've never seen people bond together like that and help each other out.

When 5:30am rolled around and after most of the night people showing up and us telling them all the units had already been sold, a few guys got attitudes about us all waiting there and at that point lost it. A fist fight broke out because one guy told us that he was gonna run for it once the store opened. Which BTW each shift manager had a different approach at how they were gonna sell these to us. One of them freak us out because they said it was gonna be a run for it event. So our numbers from the previous manager meant nothing.

So when the guy said he was gonna run for it another guy like fuck you are, and the next thing you know fists are flying.

Luckily the morning shift manager talked on the phone with the manager that handed us the numbers and said to follow that system. So we give them our numbers and we get an official voucher stating we are getting an xbox 360. After I got my voucher I had a guy offer me a $1,000 bucks for my spot. At this point and 12 hours waiting for something I really wanted, I had to say no.

I'm up waiting for my turn at the cash register when I hear "no one is to leave the building the cops are on the way". Next thing we hear is that someone tried to rob the first guy out the store with a unit. So they called the cops and had the cops escort each one of us out the building with our units so that wouldn't happen again.

As you can tell it was insane...and now I really need to get an hour or so sleep before going into work a little late.

xbox 360 or die

2005-11-21T08:56:00.000-05:00

Well maybe not die, but tonight is the night. I had a tip earlier in the week that I could order the xbox 360 online at Circuit City. Boy was that a mistake. I got my hopes all high thinking wow, someone is trying to give me a break up there. At 2 pm Friday they went onsale and at the same time Circuit City's servers just crashed from the overload. Most people like myself could get to a certain point in the ordering of one. I managed to get to the screen to "approve my order". I had my credit card info and everything all filled out and this was the last step. Clicked on "Approve" and then got the message that everyone else got "Circuit City lost your record, please try again." . I actually made it a lot further then most. Some couldn't even get to the order screen at all. And a few lucky ones out there did manage to order the system online before Circuit City closed there website and phone center due to the overload. About 3 hours later I was able to get back online to try again and at that point it said "Sold Out!". What a bitch!

So tonight I'm camping outside of Best Buy hoping to get a system that way. It's gonna be rainy and windy so I'm a little concerned if I can manage it for that long. Hopefully I'll be able to do this. I did it for the orginal xbox when that came out. Went really early around 2 am or so and stood inline, although that evening it wasn't that cold, rainy, or windy. I have many layers of clothes so hopefully that helps out. Although stupid me forgot to pack gloves, so I may have to stop somewhere and buy a pair since right after work I'm going to wait in line.

I'm prepared otherwise. Filled my ipaq up with games and music so I'll be somewhat entertained. Last time I did this it was actually pretty fun. Plus there was a sense of satisfaction that I held out and got something I wanted. I'm sure there are thoughts of 'you freak', 'you're nuts' etc... but I can't really explain it, there is again the satisfaction and fun in it as well.

Keep your fingers crossed for me that I'll actually be able to get one.

Gay clubs going bye bye

2005-11-16T19:15:00.000-05:00

Well, I was just watching the news and saw that most of the gay clubs in the SE (south east) area of DC will be destroyed due to the new Nationals Stadium. Off the bat the "Follies", Zeigfields", and "Secrets" are currently on the cutting block. Also talked about was "Nations" and "Wet" are being considered to go as they are trying to revitalize the area. If they don't go both of those clubs will be within feet of the current stadium site.

Kinda ironic it made me think about the old gay DC club called "Tracks" in the same area of DC. It was my favorite club. It was huge and very comparable to most big NYC clubs. There were nights were thousands of gay guys would pack in that huge space.

The ironic thing about it... when it was destroyed guess who built an office building there? The company I work for. I don't work in that building but I thought it was really weird how I used to party and even had sex there and now people I support with my company work at that same spot.

I wonder what will happen to these current clubs in that area. Will they find a new site or will the gay scene be cut majorly by this new stadium? If they go what will happen to all the twinks, druggies, ravers, fag hags, and just plain ol' partiers? It'll be interesting to see what happens to this huge chunk of current gay land in how people are displaced to a new area.

Surface

2005-11-15T16:18:00.000-05:00

This really isn't about the TV show, but while I'm thinking of it the last episode did have an interesting qoute...

"Humans are 2/3rds water just like the earth. The percentage of salt in our blood is the same percentage of salt in the ocean. We are tied to the sea."

Seems like lately everyone around me is under abnormal amounts of stress. Chuck, one of my ex's, most of my coworkers... I mean I can create a pretty long list here of people on the verge of breakdowns from stress.

Just today a coworker of mine had her son's car breakdown. He is still in high school so she paid the bill. $900.00 for new brakes. And if that wasn't enough it turns out after they made the repairs they discovered major issues with the ABS system and a few other things. Now the price skyrocketed to $3,000 for repairs. This lady I've never seen cry before.. she's one tough bitch (well she is really nice if you are on her good side), so it came as a shock to see her break down and lose it. And this isn't the only person I have heard or seen this way. An ex of mine which I won't go into details recently did the same thing due to an issue he is having. Some VERY strong people breaking down... almost like a huge depression is coming or something. I've never had so many people around me feel like they are about to just pull their hair out, throw a few fists around, or cry like a river.

I'm really hoping things get better for all of these people, and soon. I mean I'm also under a bigger then normal amount of stress, especially with work. I have this one guy that I swear he is gonna send me to my grave. There is no way to please this guy and I'm honestly working the best that I can with him. But you know how some things are... you have to follow company procedures and so while you wait for things to be corrected you have one guy calling you up every 30 minutes cusing as to why he hasn't been paid yet. Today he actually said he was going to come by my office. Thankfully the building I work in is secure, so there isn't a way he is getting in here without me giving him premission. My boss said he wasn't allowed to step foot on property since he has been harassing me and she talked to him directly stating that if he continues the police and security will be notified.

Besides all of this year end close is coming up for our company so I'm getting huge amounts of work to process. I wouldn't be surprised if these past 2 weeks have given me some gray hairs.

I'm hoping these things will only scratch my surface and not harm me beyond that.

$31,000 food bill

2005-11-13T08:09:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I'm at the grocery store (one that Chuck talks up about it being cheap and great to shop at) and I probably have maybe 20 items in my cart. I'm looking at the prices of each item when I buy them and think, "hey that's a deal" so I'm satisfied with what I'm getting (I'm also not a cheap person).

I get to the cashier and it's this young maybe 17 year old Jamacian girl. She starts scanning in my items and I'm just kind of people watching while she is doing it. Then the next thing you know her eyes light up and say "Wow man, look at that total... you owe us $31,000 dollars". Then she proceeds to ask "cash or credit?". Course I'm not thinking about how to pay as much as what the fuck made the price so high on my 20 items that should only cost me around $30.00 bucks.

So I ask her what went wrong because my total shouldn't be that high. She just went on to say "I scanned them in and that's what it's coming up with, so that is what you owe... if you have a problem with it you don't have to buy them." So immediately I ask for the manager since I think the girl is an idiot and I would love to see her being told something went wrong...

The manager comes over and says "Sir, what seems to be the problem?". I immediately tell her that my bill is 31 fucking thousand dollars for 20 items, "You tell me what the problem is?". She says, "well it sounds like you got some expensive items and a dirty mouth". I tell her that I want it voided and to lets try this again.

So they void out my bill and start scanning again, this time I'm paying full attention to what the screen shows rather then eyeing up the yo boys that work there :-P . Well we get to the tomatoes and the computer says how much poundage I have of them and the girl flips through the book to find the price of them... she types in something and BOOM.. I owe $31,000 for some beef steak tomatoes. I immedately tell her to stop and show the manager what was up. The manager says "Well it looks like that is the problem". I say "No shit!", and then she says "Tomatoes are getting pretty damn expensive this time of year."... and I immediately head for the door.

And then I wake up.

For the music buff

2005-11-09T06:59:00.000-05:00

If you think you know a thing or 2 about music you should click on THIS LINK. It's actually (what I thought at least) really fun. It's almost like name that tune.

See how much you know. I was having issues with my PC last night with it's connection, but I did make it to the leaderboard. Before I lost my connection I was up to 180 points with all my lives still available.. guess that makes me a music geek :-P

yawns...

2005-11-07T13:04:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't post the past few days... been meaning to but didn't know what to post.

So this is a random post... I'm fucking tired today. Had a long day yesterday and last night. And tonight after work I have to go out and shop for a coworkers wedding/baby shower. I'm telling you these people need to stop throwing parties around here. It's getting costly. Seems like every month I have a couple of parties to shop for people at work. Some of them I don't really care for but feel obligated to get them something since everyone else is.

The past few days around here have been wonderful with the weather. Wish it was like this all the time. And yeah, I really don't know what to talk about so the weather came to mind.

I've also been thinking the best way possible to get an Xbox 360 on release day. Rumor has it Microsoft is behind in the manufacturing process. When originally said that Best Buy could get 100 units, it's now said that they'll only get 20-60 units. This puts a huge damper on things for me. Believe it or not when the original Xbox came out I camped out in line over night for it. It was November as well, and cold as hell. I layered my clothes like a mofo and stood and sat out in line all night. I wasn't the only one either. I had about 20 people in front of me, and at least 100 more behind me. I really don't know if I can camp out again like I did last time. While it was fun and the people in line were great, I do have to work the next day and don't see myself being able to do it as easily. Ugh, guess it's a sign of old age. Maybe I should just take a huge cup of coffee with me and do it again... the only thing about that is getting the shits or pee from that coffee, LOL. And there isn't anyplace but the bushes to really take care of business. I may have to jump around like crazy that night. Try to hit Walmart at midnight and if I don't suceed then find another store before Best Buy opens.

If any of you have a hook up on getting it and feel like sharing the wealth e-mail me ;)

Nun/Cabbie Joke

2005-11-02T13:25:00.000-05:00

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the
VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is
staring.

He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend
you"

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you
get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!

"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying?"

"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."

Speaking of which I was looking online and found the "Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence" Drag Nun Retreat. How crazy is that!

Chuck and Happy Halloween!

2005-10-31T13:30:00.000-05:00

I don't have a lot on my mind today but thought I would blog about Chuck for a few. Chuck recently got the General Manager's position for the restaurant he works at. Bascially it's his store now. He is going through a lot in the transition and I can see it's wearing thin on his sanity right now. So if you guys have an extra moment and believe in luck or prayer, then send either his way.

I don't get to see much of him lately and the time I do spend with him he isn't really there so to speak. His mind is worried about his store and his new responsiblities. It doesn't help that he has some idiots that work there and feel free to slack off often or make stupid mistakes that end up causing a mess. The sad thing is he so needs to hire people, but there is no one around here who needs a job apparently. It's also affecting his attitude and has gotten kind of short tempered lately with things that otherwise might not bother him. I've been trying to avoid him to some degree because at times this being smart or short tempered gets thrown at me, which I know he doesn't mean to do but you know how that can happen. I'm sure we've all been in those shoes before.

I've even had those awful thoughts of since he's always going to work at such weird times (times when not scheduled or last minute) and not always saying much to me about them that he could be cheating on me. I shouldn't think this, but you can't always control the human mind as well as you want to. I know he has a good bond with someone he works with and stupid me wonders if they are fooling around behind my back. He says he is straight, but that hasn't stopped guys before! LOL. Or he says he is going to work and really isn't. But I'm really not trying to focus on this thought and I seriously doubt something like that would happen. I'm sure some of you guys have been in similiar situations and you almost can't help but wonder even if you don't want or think it would happen. I love him and I know he loves me, so I'm not getting stressed out about this because I'm sure it's just his job and my mind is playing jedi mind games with me. ;) Plus if I'm already worrying about something like that and confront him I could get the "Well since you think I'm doing it and get in trouble for it I might as well do it" attitude that some guys have.

I'm hoping some time soon things will settle down for him and I'll see him happy again. Until then I'm playing my video games, watching my movies... which by the way I saw what I thought was an ok movie last night called "The Perfect Man" with Hillary Duff and Heather Locklear. It didn't get good reviews at all, but sometimes I guess I have different tastes then the critics or I like movies that suck. Sure the plot was totally predictable, but the little bit of romance in it at least for me made it enjoyable.

But hey, all of us must like one movie that bombed with the critics. Right? ;)

Anyways, wanted to also say Happy Halloween. Don't eat to much candy :-P

Gay Turkey!

2005-10-29T06:59:00.000-05:00

Well sorta, click the link for something funny. I don't know how long this will be up for (it's not dirty) but you should have audio...

The link to something funny...

After we are long gone..

2005-10-27T09:52:00.000-05:00

Do you think our blogs will still be around after we are gone? It seems kind of interesting to think about this. I mean the internet has turned to a sort of history record of everything going on. As you know there are servers that save every site they encounter, web images so to speak. You can access many pages from search engines that have been cached so that if you don't find the site working that second you can click on the "cached" link and bring up what the site looked like back in time.

I wonder how long they'll hold these images of web pages and everything you and I write will be around for our children, grand children etc.. Are these pages of our lives going to be a record of us for our ancestors? Will my great grand children read what I wrote here... some of them maybe thinking, "Damn! Billy was a slut!" ;)

Think for a moment the next thing you write on the web, what message do you want to send them? The people of your life... the people of your lifes future.... What one thing do you want to be remembered for? Can you put something like that in words? I challenge you all to think about what you write sometimes and remember that what you write may be around forever. What do you want to tell those people.. if anything at all? I might have to get back to you on my answer.

My IQ

2005-10-26T13:36:00.000-05:00

I recently took a test on the internet to find out my IQ. I was surprised to see I got 129. Being around Chuck can sometimes make me feel dumb. I don't wanna make this sound like he bashes me for being stupid or something... he doesn't. But Chuck knows everything. Teasing around I call him the Encyclopedia of useless information. You need to know the population of Peru? He'll know it. Jeopardy is his thing.

I'm not as smart with historical information and world matters as he is, but it's kind of nice to know that when I took the test it said I was a "brilliant visual mathematician"..."This means you are gifted at spotting patterns — both in pictures and in numbers. These talents combined with your overall high intelligence make you good at understanding the big picture, which is why people trust your instincts and turn to you for direction — especially in the workplace." I gotta say usually my instincts are correct.

I did a little more research to find out exactly what my score means and found this site...

I was like shit I am super smart! ;) At my level the site says I'm with school teachers, accountants, managers... and one away from lawyers, surgeons, and engineers.. But I'm not a nerd ok? :-P

I know it's stupid to be happy over something like this, but it did make me smile for a moment.

The skinny on affairs

2005-10-26T06:20:00.000-05:00

From MSN.com :

If you're worried your guy might cheat, try checking out his waistline. A new study says the size of his belly may reveal whether he'll stray.

Even the tiniest suspicion that her man might be unfaithful can turn some women into an investigator worthy of a guest-starring role on CSI. Now, a surprising new study suggests that women with huskier mates can breathe a bit easier on this front.

Here's the scoop: When researchers surveyed 1,000 men, 23% of average-sized guys and 19% of moderately overweight men said they'd cheat on their partners if they had the chance. However, only 11% of very overweight men said they'd stray. "The more you weigh, the less interested you are in sexual dalliances," said men's health expert Sascha Rusch of the health institute Epicure, which commissioned the study.

19 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

2005-10-20T16:30:00.000-05:00

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.
See if they slow down

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In."

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For sexual favors"

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "To go."

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!, I won! "

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

Profile spaces

2005-10-18T18:43:00.000-05:00

I don't know about you, but I'm getting sick and tired of all the new profile websites coming around. Some of them are not so new, but when I get invitations to join new ones it starts getting out of hand when you see these invites in your inbox coming from all over the globe... I'll give you an example of some... friendster, tribe, myspace, yahoo 360, iAlmond, myyearbook, Bebo, UNYK, hi5, SMS.ac, face-pic ... you get the idea. I started to join them in the beginning, but now these things are beginning to be a nunsance. I'm telling you a few more of these to junk up my e-mail and I'm gonna start telling people off. I almost have a feeling some of my friends are almost purposely looking for the latest and greatest of these and are joining them all and want to drag me with them.

So if you are my friend and have sent me some of these, take a hint ;)

I don't mean to sound harsh, it's just more crap I have to sort through and some days I don't feel like sorting through them anymore.

Failure

2005-10-17T18:24:00.000-05:00

1. Go to www.google.com
2. Type in "Failure", without the quotes
3. Instead of hitting "Search" hit "I'm feeling Lucky"
4. Look at it and laugh at what comes up
5. Tell your friends before the people at Google fix it

And in case you are a lazy ass, here is what comes up....

Starting

2005-10-16T19:38:00.000-05:00

Hey, I'm starting to feel better *knocks on wood*, although when it rains it pours right? My main computer hard drive crashed on Friday night. I've spent most of the weekend bringing everything back up to speed on a new one. It's slowly but surely getting there. While I was at it I started fiddling with that new Windows I was telling you about a few posts back, it's super fast (much faster then XP), looks cooler, and has many little cool new features that I can't wait until the real deal is out and they have drivers to support it. I got everything on my computer to work under the new OS but my TV card. So when ever I feel like watching TV I have to load up my Media Center Windows. Here are a couple screen shots for the curious.... and yes the new internet explorer has tabs, it's about time... the recycle bin fills up as you throw shit out, and there are tons of visual effects that makes you feel like it's trying to show off. And last but not least, the games have been extremely updated :)

Flu season and the Name Game

2005-10-14T17:42:00.000-05:00

A report, obtained by The New York Times, says a large flu outbreak that began in Asia would probably hit the United States within "a few months or even weeks" due to the ease of modern travel, the newspaper reported Saturday.

Great, and I thought lasts years flu epidemic was bad! I may actually think about getting a flu shot this year. I've never gotten one before, but that's usually because I don't get sick very often. I've been kinda blessed in that area. I might get a cold once a year… headaches maybe once every few months… shit, I guess I should knock on wood. The only thing working against me on my body is that I'm putting on a little weight, oh and some times my skin gets oily :( . I really need to start exercising again. I really want to get an exercise bike, maybe something to think about for a Christmas gift for myself. I used to ride all the time. Gone on trips doing 50 miles in a day… now I think I would be lucky to do 3 miles, lol.

I actually 'drafted' this post a few days ago.. guess what... I'm sick! I doubt it's the flu, but my throat is feeling like hell right now.

And on a really random note, do any of you remember the song 'The Name Game'? It just popped into my head the other day and I was like shit, I haven't heard that song in so long, why would it just pop into my head like that.. lol.

What do you all think of....?

2005-10-11T07:26:00.000-05:00

... pride stickers on cars? Is this a way to really show pride? Or is it more to advertise that you are gay and might be looking? Maybe it's to catch that glimpse you may get from another homosexual and hope you get flirted with? Maybe it's none of the above?

I have an HRC sticker on my car to show support for that organization, not really to say that I'm gay. I actually got the sticker when the HRC was holding a really cool concert called Equality Rocks, and they had a ton of famous people there to show support. Some of the names were Garth Brooks, Ellen DeGeneres, Melissa Etheridge, Anne Heche, George Michael, Rufus Wainwright, Kristen Johnston, Chaka Khan, Nathan Lane, k.d. lang, Queen Latifah, Kathy Najimy, Albita, Pet Shop Boys .... you get the idea. It was one amazing concert. And ofcourse after a concert like that I felt good enough to support the message the concert/organization gave at the time.

Anyways, I'm trying to understand why someone would put not one (I can understand maybe one) but a ton of gay stickers on there car. Are they extra gay? Do they support way to many things? Or do they really want to stick out of the crowd to let everyone know they are gay? Maybe they want extra stares?

What do you all think about it? Is there no reason why people would load up their cars with stickers?

Rain

2005-10-07T09:20:00.000-05:00

I think someone prayed for rain just a little to hard here. The next several days we are supposed to get bombarded with it. We haven't had a good rain in months, so we need it. But it's odd that they are calling for 3-6 inches of rain the next few days.... couldn't he have spread it out a little better? ;)

My car, which is normally pretty good in the rain was sliding this morning. I think it's because of all the crap built up on the road. I'm sure there are oils and shit on the roadway and when it rains like this it just makes the pavement slippery.

This may sound weird, but something I sorta miss is Florida's rain. It only lasts for 15 minutes, and happens several times a day. I have some great memories walking around Disney World with my family and it would start pouring, but none of us cared and continued to walk in it without umbrellas or jackets. I think we didn't care because we were having such a great time it just didn't phase us as an issue. Plus it felt good from the heat.

Oddly enough it is one of my favorite memories. We were all just walking with smiles on our faces, enjoying each other's company, and having a great time with nothing bringing us down.

Captain Caveman!

2005-10-03T14:59:00.000-05:00

I loved the comments on that last post. Bought back even more memories reading your favorite little things you enjoyed as a kid. Loved Robotech, The Transformers, Captain Caveman, Duck Tales (this was ranked very high in the shows I would watch everyday when I came home from school).... and yes... I had a secret love for the Easy Bake Oven.

My friend (girl) had one back in the day and we would play house. I'll never forget the time we played that she was bringing home the money, and I had to cook before she got home (basically I was mister mom)... I was thinking in my head "Yes! Finually get some Easy Bake time!" ;)

Now you would think that just by this little tidbit of information I should have known I was gay at that age... but the thought never really crossed my mind. The only thing I kept on thinking was how fun it was to use, and getting the chance to eat some fresh baked cookies and brownies.

Little engine that could

2005-09-30T11:57:00.000-05:00

I remember being small and having my favorites... One of my past blogs tells how I wouldn't date a guy who doesn't know who the Smurfs were. It's strange I know, but me and a friend of mine have this theory that anybody who doesn't know who they are wouldn't relate to our generation and that we shouldn't date them.

My coworkers and I were talking about our favorite things growing up, and some of them were kind of cool to remember. For instance, one of my favorite books that I had was "The Little Engine That Could". I used to love to watch "The Smurfs" and "Threes Company". My favorite car that I really wanted to have when I grew up was either a Mustang or Firebird with leather interior (yeah I was into leather way back then, lol). I had my favorite slippers that were shaped like Pooh Bear. And the thing I probably ate the most when I was young was hot dogs.

My favorite games to play was Candyland and Clue and the card game called War. Favorite drink was Strawberry Quick (which I nicknamed "Rabbits!"). Yeah, I would go to my mom and say "Mom, can I have some Rabbits?", and of course she knew exactly what I was talking about... oh, and I had problems saying the word "yellow". It's funny, I can say that word fine now, but you know the word that still gets me everytime? "Signal", I say "Single" instead, I actually have to think about the word before it comes out "signal". LOL

What were some of your favorite things growing up?

Big Smiles

2005-09-27T18:47:00.000-05:00

I really want to thank you guys for the comments and e-mails you left both with my blog and with Chuck directly. That was sweet of you all and made me very happy.

I had a wonderful time at the beach with my mom and sister. My mom spent way to much money on us, and even though that was really nice of her what made it special was the company I spent it with. I bought way to much at the outlets... clothes, gadgets, etc.... Lots of bling bling ;)

My new computer at work died already. I came back from my trip and started to boot up my computer when I got a blue screen of death stating the boot drive was inaccessible. I had the thing for 2 weeks and the hard drive totally fried. There went all my work which I'm gonna have a hard time replacing. A few reports on that old drive are gonna take weeks to replicate :( What I did was move everything from my old computer to the new, then delete the files from my old computer at work. So now there is no record of any of my files I need and use daily. But part of me doesn't care because I've had a pretty good week, and an awesome vacation.

Also my home computer is getting an update... I'm very lucky to get a copy of Windows Vista. The next version of Windows XP. It's installing right now and looks fuckin cool! Maybe I'll write a little about it once I get it working. I know some of you are probably anti Microsoft, but if you have done any research on this latest Windows you'll know that it's been said it's much faster then Windows XP, and a lot more stable. Plus it's much more showy if you want it to be (3D effects and transitions). Everything has a much updated, modern (not candy coated like XP) looks. I haven't had any major problems with XP, in fact I've left my computer on at months at a time without rebooting or encountering an error. Now if only my work computers were as good, lol. We shall see how Vista holds up. But from what I've read about it, I'm impressed.

Until next time :-P

Song 198

2005-09-22T05:43:00.000-05:00

As some of you may know I send romantic love songs to Chuck by e-mail. I used to do it everyday, but as time went along I couldn't because I was running out ideas for new songs to send. I'm sure their are thousands of songs out there I could probably send him, but thinking about those songs can be a different story and can make one go brain dead after a while.

Since I'm going away today and for the weekend, originally I was going to ask for your help. That's right, what I was going to do was post a song with lyrics here, and to make Chuck feel loved was to ask if you guys could send him the song for me to his e-mail address (cclindist@gmail.com) while I was gone. I won't have access to the internet while I'm away. Then I thought maybe that would be to weird to have you guys help me like that, so instead I'm just posting the song here with lyrics and hope he gets it from my blog. Cuze who knows if any of you guys would actually e-mail it to him anyways.

It's a simple song, kinda repetitive but it says what I need it to say.... I LOVE YOU CHUCK! I miss you already. And I swear, no beach boys for me!

Joe Cocker - You are so beautiful (song file)

You are so beautiful
To me
You are so beautiful
To me
Can't you see

You're everything I hope for
You're everything I need
You are so beautiful to me
You are so beautiful to me

You are so beautiful
To me
Can't you see
You're everything I hope for
You're every, everything I need
You are so beautiful to me

My Age

2005-09-20T10:41:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't written much the past few days. Work has been kicking my ass. And part of the weekend I spent cleaning up our place for Chuck's parents. This Thursday my mom and sis are coming over to our place so I need to tidy up again soon. They are picking me up to go on a trip with them to the beach this weekend. I'll write again before that trip, but it's a well needed break from life.

You Are 23 Years Old

23

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Details

2005-09-15T14:48:00.000-05:00

I got a few e-mails from people wondering what that last post was about. Honestly you don't need to know the details... BUT some of you were curious about it so I will state that it was about my sex life. Also it was insinuated that I had a big dick.

I don't think people that are just starting to be my friends need to know those details about me. Like I said, if it comes out in time after I know the person then that is different. But you know how gay guys can be, once you say something like that it's hard not to think about it if you have a sexually active mind. And I don't want this guy thinking about me sexually. I'm trying to be his friend, not his lover. LOL Once we know each other I feel different about this because then I know we can maybe tease about it or gossip about it.... but in the beginning it's a little different, least for me.

Tune in next week as a post a picture of it for everyone to see :-P *kidding* Of course you already know those pictures do exist, but Chuck has authority on those ;)

What happened to 'wild Billy'?

2005-09-14T09:23:00.000-05:00

Hey all - hope all is well with you guys. Sorry I haven't blogged that much the past few days. Don't you hate it when you wish you could blog about something, but it would probably dig a hole for you… so you let it go? That's the way I'm feeling right now.

Basically without giving away details on the main topic of the situation and trying to make the hole a shallow one - I'm trying to make friends with someone local, whom I think at this point I'm going to stop doing that so I don't get in the middle of shit…. But something personal was said to this almost friend (lets just say it deals with my body among other things) and I really didn't want someone I'm trying to become friends with to know about that. At least not at this point.

Do any of you think it takes time with someone before you can become "gurlfriends" and learn about them before they would get personal details from you and you can gossip about things of that nature? Or do you just jump right on in with someone you don't really know and spill it? I almost have the feeling this person is going to look at me differently because they know these details now and it puts me in an awkward situation.

Anyways, what I think I'm gonna do is just move on.

What happened to the wild Billy you may ask that would spill it all and show and tell all?? I guess I have grown up. Maybe I should start telling and showing you private things, hell I would get better readership if I did! ;) It's all a mix in my mind. I feel like if I take that route then that just makes me look trashy. I know I have been trashy and personal at times on this blog, but I also want to try to get people to view me as a person and not something else.

I'll get hell for this blog, but I'm at the point where I'm about to say fuck it all.

Computers

2005-09-09T08:16:00.000-05:00

Another video - BlondeStar, click play.. funny

2005-09-06T16:22:00.000-05:00

Blonde Star Video (funny)

I was looking at my stats and noticed two people found my page by searching on:

"pictures of preteens pmsing"
"grandpa gets a woody"

How disturbing is that!

Click for something funny!

2005-09-04T11:12:00.000-05:00

Wow, look at that tongue! (video)

Me? Soccer? And what not to say when someone loves you.

2005-09-03T15:41:00.000-05:00

There is a website (humor of course) that predicts your career path... when I typed in my name I got this...

www.jobpredictor.com - Billy, Your ideal job is playing for a soccer team.

I'm sorry. I may have some latin in me, but I don't see myself playing soccer! And in case you are wondering who the guy is on the right, that is David Beckham (soccer player)

A list of the worst things you could possibly say when someone says "I LOVE YOU." (taken from myspace.com)

1. and ur point is??
2. umm ok?
3. Wow didn't see that one coming
4. I.......................don't.
5. While sighing and rolling your eyes you say "Aww Sh*t! Here we go again"
6. well thats just to damn bad!!..haha
7. ok, whatever
8. wow yea i get that one ALOT
9. FINALLY
10. Okay... so what am I supposed to do then?
11. Go to sleep
12. Hmmm....I'm not quite there yet.
13. I.............love......spending time with you too!!
14. AWW HOW SWEET
15. Shut up and just keep fucking me.
16. I love cake
17. Im sorry, what did you say? I wasn't paying attention.
18. Check please!
19. That's nice
20. You're more of a guilty pleasure to me
21. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch." - Stewie
22. I don't think we should see each other anymore. It's not you, it's ME. (Bull shit)
23. Hans solo's pimp ass - "i know."

The Horror

2005-08-31T14:19:00.000-05:00

First of all, wow.. do I got bunch of perverts reading my blog ;)

Second, I saw someone get killed in a car accident this morning on my way to work. A car was flying down the highway I take in the mornings. I'm not sure whether to call it a highway just yet, because I think part of the definition of a highway would mean no traffic lights. But there is construction being done to get rid of all the lights on the road and in it's place are ramps and over passes being made. Well this fool must have been going 80+ in a construction zone. Just as a dump truck was pulling out into the highway from the construction area the person decides he/she is going to change lanes (for the hundredth time) and gets into the same lane that the dump truck was already pulling into. I'm guessing the driver wasn't paying attention to what was ahead as much as what was behind because they were to worried about racing and changing lanes. Well, the driver in the car tried to throw on it's brakes when it noticed the truck, but it was to late. I was close enough to see the car being smashed into pieces and the person being thrown from the broken windshield into the truck. I'm guessing they also didn't put on their seatbelt, and the car didn't have airbags (although it's odd because it was a newer car). I have heard people get the air bags disabled, but I'm not sure why anybody might even think to do that. I'm not sure if that was the case here or not though, just something that came to mind. Luckily no one else was hurt and that we all were driving cautiously at that time. What was left of the body wasn't pretty at all.

This also reminds me when I was growing up I saw a little boy get driven over by a school bus. I was in middle school getting off the bus and walking towards the main entrance like everyone else. As we were walking the buses started pulling away. The boy supposedly dropped something in front if a bus and went to go reach for it. The bus driver (I remember hearing later on) said that the bus was so high up, she had no idea anybody was there. And the bus started moving and the next thing we all see is the boy's guts all over the pavement. It was definitely one of the grossest and saddest things I have seen. Our entire school had therapists come in to talk to everyone that saw it, or knew the boy personally. It was all we talked about for a while. And school policy changed after that point to make sure it would never happen again.

In good company..

2005-08-29T06:10:00.000-05:00

There was a movie qoute that said...

Carter: Dan, you seem to have the perfect marriage. How do you do it?
Dan Foreman: You just pick the right one to be in the foxhole with, and then when you're outside of the foxhole you keep your dick in your pants.

On a side note, I had heard that gas would be going down after a few weeks but then I read this article on Katrina and now they may go up for a while at even higher prices. BLAH!!

Bad boy

2005-08-27T08:31:00.000-05:00

I took this quiz online (most quizzes are boring and stupid and made up by 12 year olds with nothing to do... think I've said this before... but this one I did find a little more interesting) after I heard Chuck talk about it and him bragging about getting a score of 81%. I got a 79.75% on it. So I guess Chuck is more perverted then I. Is there anything sexually he hasn't done? I'm on a quest to find out.

But when the average score is on 33.61~%, I guess I'm no saint either!

The Extreme Sex Test

How did you guys score? I think there is 79 questions in case you are wondering when it's finished.

Gotta hand it to you...

2005-08-24T10:03:00.000-05:00

...I found your comments rather interesting on my last post about what people define sex as in a gay relationship. It's pretty wild how vast the opinions are on that issue. And part of me wants to ask why is there such a huge difference there. Why isn't it clearly defined for us?

I'm doing ok today, didn't sleep well at all last night thinking about some issues I've had in my life recently. Things I can't really talk about. Don't you hate those?! :-P

My ex Kevin called me last night and joking said I should pay him alamony (sp) since we were together for 7 years and I was the one with the job bringing home the money while he stayed at home and cleaned and cooked and went to school. I laughed and thought thank God I'm not straight because then I probably would be in this situation. Isn't that a terrible thought in a way? Really if I was with someone for that long and it was just like a marriage shouldn't I treat it as such? But then again, he left me and now he makes more then I do... so nah! :-P

I get paid tomorrow... Daddy is going shopping :) Even if it is for food, I'm excited. With the vacation and some other recent expenses I've been tighter with money then usual. I did some over time and my bills are caught up so now I can splurg on that package of super sharp yummy chedder cheese. I'm a cheese freak.

A memory for me

2005-08-22T11:58:00.000-05:00

This post is more for me then for you guys. I someday want to look back on my blog and read through the posts and remember things and also learn from it as well.

On our recent trip to the beach Chuck and I had sex 7 times (4 times if you ask him) in a little over a 24 hour period. He only counts sex as anal. I count it more like if someone gets off then it's sex. And I know different people have different ways of counting it. I just kinda think about it like if someone reaches an orgasm then it's gotta be sex. Also where would the definition lay for cheating? If according to his way I can still get off with a guy and it wouldn't be cheating.

Anyways, it was a great time and I thought I would at least write about it to remember it later. The only thing that kept on happening was that his uncle and parents kept walking in on us moaning and all. They were supposed to be at the pool or away... and so we would go at it again and then either right before climaxing or right after we would realize they've been there long enough to hear us going at it. Especially when we heard Chuck's dad say once "Charlie, your uncle is here!", which then we knew both his dad and uncle had heard.

We had some great memories besides the sex. Walking around... talking.. minigolf.. eating.. relaxing.. and the game of cards I won yet again! ;) Eating Subway at 10am, buying lube at the Rite Aid, Chuck getting sick at the Ripley's room that spins... Here is to more memories like these.

English por favor

2005-08-21T18:23:00.000-05:00

I don't know, maybe my english is rusty.. but what do you think this hot or not guy is after when his profile and keywords say this:

"D*****, 23, looking for guys to get to know, maybe share pics. I'm young, fun and into all sorts of stuff, of which i am getting more increasingly experienced!"

Keywords : active, boys, cks, cock, cum, dance, fit, fun, games, gay, guys, muscle, music, naked, nude, outdoors, play, sex, soccer, speedos, swimming, underwear, versatile

Soon

2005-08-17T06:08:00.000-05:00

Hey, just wanted to let you know that I'm ok and just got back from vacation. I'll write soon when I have some free time after catching up on my work :(

I had a great time (which going into this vacation I didn't think I was going to have due to something that happened right before I left). Now I feel wonderful and I hope Chuck does as well.

Since you've been gone...!

2005-08-10T19:45:00.000-05:00

Here is a few samples of some music that I just kinda randomly selected . Gives you some ideas of things you may want to look out for. I do this every so often and if you missed my older posts, tough shit! :-P

They are in the WMA 9 format to both save some space on the server and for those who can't access mp3's at work/school if they are blocked. Enjoy!

1) Kelly Clarkson - Since you've been gone(remix)
2) Pat Benatar - We Belong (Richie Santana Mix)
3) Cars - Magic
4) Nena - 99 Luftballons
5) Ronan Keating and Lulu - We've got tonight

Getting to know you...

2005-08-09T08:52:00.000-05:00

My friend Dawn sent me this e-mail where you answer questions to get to know the person. Me being lazy I decided to just do it here so I can post something on my blog and answer the questions for her (and you all) to see, lol.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:40am
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds, but a nice car would get me just as excited
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Star Wars Episode 3
4. What is your favorite TV show? Amazing Race
5. What did you have for breakfast? Marble pound cake (I'm normally not a breakfast person)
6. What is your middle name? Very few know this, and it's gonna stay that way
7. What is your favorite cuisine? Italian
8. What food do you dislike? It's a huge long list or vegetables and fruit, and anything slimy
9. Your favorite Potato chip? Don't like potato chips, but love doritos
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Don't listen to CD's anymore, I have mp3 CD's.. but if I had to pick one, maybe Kelly Clarkson
11. What kind of car do you drive? Sunfire, cheap and gets me around. Would prefer a Mercedes or Corvette
13.What characteristics do you despise? snobbiness, lieing, cheating, whores, and people who don't have morals and respect... that good enough?
14. Favorite item of clothing? I have this Abercrombie shirt that says brewers on it that fits me pretty well and is comfortable, Chuck took my other dress shirt I use for work. Oh, and leather jackets!!! I love those!! Oh and timberland boots... and ... lol
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation,where would you go? Hawaii, or Tokyo Disney Sea
16. What color is your bathroom? Eeyore Purple (not my first choice in color but it's aiight). BTW Tigger is my favorite Disney character
17. Favorite brand of clothing? Ecko & A&F
18. Where would you want to retire to? Florida lol
19. Favorite time of day? Evening
20. Where were you born? Alexandria VA
21. Favorite sport to watch? Basketball
22. Who do you least expect to send this back? I don't expect anything
23. Person you expect to send it back first? whomever was just as bored as I was when I did this
24. What laundry detergent do you use? Tide
25. Coke or Pepsi? Coke
26. Are you a morning person or night owl? total night owl, don't talk to me in the mornings
27. What size shoe do you wear? 13
28. Do you have pets? yes, Gaby my cat
29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? I'm feeling lucky, so I'm gonna win some big money ;)
30. What did you want to be when you were little? Amusement park designer (Imagineer)
31. Favorite Candy Bar? Twix, but if we are just talking candy - Godiva Truffles
32. What is your best childhood memory? Being at Disney World with my family walking in the rain around the park with not a care in the world
33. What are the different jobs you have had in your life? Periodicals Clerk (library), Data Center Assistant, Math Department Admin, Accounts Payable Help Desk, Accountant
34. What color underwear are you wearing? gray
35. Nicknames: BOOM, Papi, Hamburger Burrito, Tigger, Boo, The MacDaddy of... lol
36. Piercing? yes 2
37. Eye color? brown
38. Ever been to Africa? nope
39. Ever been toilet papering? nope, just egging
40. Love someone so much it made you cry? yes, many times
41. Been in a car accident? yes, 3, all were minor 2 weren't my fault and the other was in the snow and I lost control
42. Croutons or bacon bits? Croutons
43. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
44. Favorite restaurant? Maggianos
45. Favorite flower? sunflower
46. Favorite ice cream? vanilla melted
47. Disney or Warner Brothers? Disney!!! I'm a disney freak
48. Favorite fast food restaurant? Burger King!!
49. What color is your bedroom carpet? white
50. Failed your drivers test? twice, this is a great story for a blog actually...
51. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? Chuck
52. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Circuit City or this local computer store called Microcenter
53. What do you do most often when you are bored? watch movies, love my movies!
54. Bedtime? between 11:30-1:30am usually
55. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire? If someone responds then I'm curious enough to see there responces
56. Last person you went to dinner with? Chuck
57. Ford or Chevy? Chevy, but I do love Mustangs
58. What are you listening to right now? The Corrs greatest hits
60. Lake, Ocean or river? Ocean
61. How many tattoos do you have? none, I'm on and off on this... somedays I want one.. other days I am against getting one. Strange I know.
62. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? who fucking cares!
63. How many people are you sending this Email to? who knows how many people read my blog
64. Time you finished this e-mail? 9:45 am

Kathy, Martha, and Tommy oh my!

2005-08-04T10:10:00.000-05:00

I just don't know people. I'm a sucker for reality TV (I know I probably shouldn't be admitting that), but I think things are starting to get out of control. I was excited to hear Kathy Griffin was coming out with a new reality TV show, she is one of my favorite comedians. Martha Stewart is also hopping on board... she looks like she could be a major bitch. Who would have thought the lady that helps us dress up a holiday table be an evil bitch that goes for the kill. Then I just saw last night Tommy Lee is coming out with a show as well. Wonder if it'll be anything like the porn video he did with Pamela.

On a really random note, I have been listening to the top 100 hits of 1988 and 1989. One of the songs that came on was by Milli Vanilli... I wonder where they are at today. For some reason my mind has been all over the place.. the weirdest thought came into my head. The song was "Blame it on the Rain" and if you listen to it you hear these choir type back up singers in the song. I wonder about those singers. Did they know those guys were fakes? Did they put on there resumes they sung backup for Milli Vanilli? Were they proud of that song and thought everything was real until the news came out and now they don't talk about it... blocked it out of mind? lol

Graveyards

2005-08-02T11:10:00.000-05:00

I was reading a post at Brechi's blog about graveyards and it quickly brought back a memory of growing up a few years next to one. On an average day it didn't bother me at all. But there were nights when it did get spooky and a strange feeling of something evil was out there came over me. I won't go into details in this blog on the reasons why.. or tell you about how I have this strange ability (at least I think I do) to feel spirits (yeah I'm sure you think I'm pyscho for saying that), but I believe in ghosts. Maybe one day I'll have guts to tell you more, but it's a LONG LONG combo of stories.

But I don't know why, when I read that post all I could remember is how I didn't want to drink the water while we lived there because I felt like I was drinking debris of a person's body. Sick I know. But think about it, dead bodies in the ground decomposing just a few feet away from the well...

1 year, something even better

2005-07-29T08:52:00.000-05:00

In the past days I posted how I went on 1 year at blogging... well Wednesday Chuck and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary.

There are a few things I want to get out in this post that I'm not sure you knew about. One being I don't have good luck with anniversaries at all. My ex Kevin and I shared few good ones in the 7 years we were together. Most of the time for some strange reason we ended up fighting on it. 2 times he broke up with me on them... and it's not like we fought all the time so this was normal... we didn't, but somehow on anniversaries it seemed like the day just had an evil curse to it.

Another thing is the other night I remembered how Chuck and I first met. I think I may have told part of the story before, but what I didn't tell you was that first reaction I got when I saw him. I went to his job because he asked me to stop by and visit, just so we could talk some in person since we were talking online before that point. I stopped by and remember going inside his restaurant asking for him. He came to me and told me his parents were there but they were leaving in a second and if I could just wait for a moment until they leave. Honestly I don't remember getting a good look at him at this point because I was just so nervous about things. I went outside the front door and waited there. I saw him walk his parents out and at that moment I really did see him. And what I saw was amazing. I looked at him thinking "Wow, he's beautiful" and he had the look I would dream about at nights.

The past 2 days we spent together and I'll say that they were wonderful. Unfortunately even with the good, came what seemed like that curse again.

Chuck requested me to drive up to a hotel. Before I drive there I hear from him that the website he used booked the hotel for the wrong day. So he is being charged for that wrong day and now since he still wanted to make plans he was being charged twice as much since it was a last minute booking. Suddenly a hotel that should cost $133 a night in Baltimore now costed Chuck over $500 because of the mistake. That left him with no money to do what he really wanted to do for me. Also while on my way to the hotel I was pulling out the directions and accidentally wasn't paying much attention to the light ahead and ran a red light which took my picture. So I'm expecting a fine and points from that. I left at 7pm and didn't get to the place until 9:30 pm... and the place is only about 50 miles away... so being stuck in what seemed like traffic that never moved didn't place my mind with thoughts of joy beforehand. Honestly when I first got there I felt like crying, nothing had been going well at this point.

I had worked that Wednesday, so I didn't have much energy for anything that night if you know what I mean.. and boy I wish I did. Although last night we made up for that, lol. FYI, if you see me today and wonder why I look so out of it all I got to say is I got 3 hours of sleep.

After the initial drama you would think that I might say I didn't have the best of times, but I did. Chuck is one amazing guy and for some reason when I spend time with him it feels like the rest of the world has stopped. He may not hear this from me often, but I love our times together and he does make me happy. I can grip about imperfections but I do know none of us are perfect. Sometimes I have a dream of being with Prince Charming... having that fairy tale of a guy that really does treat me like royality just like I try to treat him that way. I'm learning that I shouldn't hold anyone to those levels. I will say that I think of Chuck not as a prince, but as my soul mate. There are so many things he does right and I just don't often tell him. He is my one true love and I only hope he doesn't forget that. Prince fuck that.... I want my Chuck.

I only hope years from now we still have a good thing going for us. I have thoughts of fear because in the past I have been hurt. I was even hurt by Chuck in the beginning. At times he can also be really flirty and looks at guys like sexual objects and allows guys to look at him that way as well. So seeing that hurts... especially since that is how I got hurt so many times before. I gotta try to move away from my past and live for the present and focus on a future. I know some of you may not believe in a God, but I do. And I pray that to my dieing day (and of old age *hey I can dream*) that I'll be with my pup named Chuck. His first words to me were "Woof!", as I hope my last word to him may be "Woof!"... and "I love you and will continue to love you for eternity".

Batteries for toys

2005-07-26T08:07:00.000-05:00

It's sick when a cell phone battery costs as much as a new cell phone. What's up with that?!

$40+ bucks for a new battery for my cell phone since my other one is acting up. I might get 20 minutes of talk time out of it if I'm lucky and if someone else decides to call me after that point, they might as well forget about me answering because when I do it hangs up and blinks battery is low and turns off. Chuck got sick of this because he wanted to know where I was and what I was doing... so he gave me $40 bucks and told me to buy a new battery. I was holding off in buying a new one myself because I figured I may be getting a new phone in a few months since my 2 year contract is just about over.

Did I mention how much I hate to use the phone? I'm sure I have in a past blog, maybe even several times. So the battery issue wasn't really an issue for me. Several of my friends however said it is, lol. I don't like using the phone because it's a big part of my job. Employees will call me wondering where their money is, and if I don't have the answer of "you'll get it tomorrow" they'll come at me screaming. So try doing this at least 20 times a day and you start to hate being on the phone, no matter who it's with.

I had an old boss once tell me to never answer the phone, let it go to voice mail and have them leave us a message. It's more productive that they supply us with the info, we research it, and then call them back with an answer within 24 hours. And honestly it is. I notice I have more time in my day to get everything else I need to get done. The phone can really tie you up. A few of my coworkers answer every call they get and I've seen them talk for what seems like hours about nothing. Going in circles and waiting for the computer to pull up this or that which can frustrate the person on the other end. Not to mention if you get a chatty person on the other side or one that asks a lot of questions, there goes that half an hour of my life and time to some idiot talking about hurricane season and the shitty weather they are having. I care if you are a friend, but sometimes I just can't seem to care if all you really called me for was money.

So if you ever wonder why you may not always get me, you need to walk in these shoes for a day and you'll understand.

People?

2005-07-24T08:05:00.000-05:00

I was getting an oil change yesterday morning and since there was nothing to do but sit there and wait I picked up People magazine. It was either that or Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition from 2004.

I really don't know what to think about People Magazine. Sure, I've seen it many times before but for some reason this morning it clicked in my head "It's sad to see that people think it's big news when Britney is showing some skin with a belly or Angelina Jolie goes to the grocery store with Maddox....". I mean come on. I think Angelina Jolie is hot, but is it all that important that I know she went grocery shopping with her boy? And see the picture of it happening?

Maybe I'm out of it, but I think we should be making a bigger deal about things that should make an impact. I'm at peace now knowing that Angelina goes grocery shopping *kidding*. I think it's cool that she goes just like everyone else, but why take up a half a page of a publication that millions read? Life is funny... now lets talk about when a star gets in trouble with the law ;) ... Are they really "people" at all? :-P

1 year

2005-07-22T06:18:00.000-05:00

It's been 1 year since I started blogging (since yesterday) and almost 40,000 views later. Just want to say Thank you all for sharing my life with me.

The bed

2005-07-21T20:35:00.000-05:00

Ok as promised and long over due... some pictures of the bed that I was hyping that we finually got... Chuck and I both choose deep red drapings for it (although these pics aren't true to color), but these can be changed to any color to match what we need to. I find red a very passionate/romantic color. Speaking of which, some of the sex we have had on this baby.... lets just say 4 times in a day on several occasions.. It almost makes me want to tell a quick story about almost going to Walmart and not noticing the stains on my shorts that I slipped back on from one of these sex filled nights.... luckily I saw them when I got in the car...

I will say it was very hard to take these pics. The bed is so huge, and my room not big enough to get far away enough to get a good picture of it all.

QAF FYI

2005-07-21T07:59:00.000-05:00

Just a note to those people that download things... the last episodes of QAF have been leaked out on the internet. Chuck and I watched them all including the series finale about a week ago. I'm not a huge fan of the show as you all know and I thought maybe the show might end at least on a positive note... but not to give anything away.. the ending was disappointing.

Git 'R Done!

2005-07-19T09:57:00.000-05:00

Had an interesting weekend. Chuck and I went up to Dover Downs (race track with slots to gamble). On our way there we saw this big pickup truck pulling a trailer on the back of it with something like "Billie's ______ Hats". And on the back of the trailer in big print was "Git R' Done!". When the pickup pulled into the toll plaza I noticed a young guy with his head out the window, hat cocked to the side.. didn't think much of it until they pulled out of the toll plaza and the window was still down and he still had his head out the window, just like a dog actually. I was expecting him to stick out his tongue any second.

Chuck and I got a laugh out of it and for some reason the rest of the weekend I had this urge to say "Git R' Done!".

After losing all my money I allocated for the slots (within just a few minutes) we decided to leave and go out to eat. It was the Chili's from the Twilight Zone. We couldn't find our way into the restaurant. We went all over the place trying to find an entrance to the place. Finally after a few minutes we found this back road that seemed to be just for Chili's and this other place that had a huge sign that just said "EAT". I don't know why I find this so amusing, but I found it odd that a restaurant would have no name on a sign and instead 20 feet up on a pole was this huge light up sign that simple says "EAT". Maybe that was the name of the place and they just weren't very creative.

Inside the Chili's was no better. It must be something in the water in Delaware because everyone but Chuck and I was either pregnant or had a small child. It was odd I'll say that much.

So after losing that money I won it back playing a game of poker with Chuck's family and friends. Who knew I was that good at something I just picked up recently. I won almost every hand I played. Chuck's dad and I were the last people in the game. At first he did end up getting a few chips back from me, but then I called his bluff when he put all his money in. And that's how you "Git R' Done"! ;) Had a great time and got my mind off of things.

Gashole

2005-07-15T09:59:00.000-05:00

I thought today's word from urbandictionary.com was funny...

gashole
A person who uses unnecessarily large amounts of gasoline to move from point A to point B, typically found driving SUV's (Sport Utility Vehicles)

I had a free moment and decided while our system is being upgraded I would surf a little on the web. I stumbled upon the urbandictionary... and for shits and giggles decided to become an editor for the website (anyone can sign up). Look at some of these words that people are trying to put through with these definitions and sentences with the word in them... insane in the membrain...

curl: lifting weights with your shaft
i can curl small children!

Ralph Steamer: The act of taking a shit and thrusting it up ones vagina durring sex.
Yeah hi, i just gave goldielocks a ralph steamer.

pants party: party where people have sex in each others pants
"let's have a pants party"

Fongpei: A type of thong. ''FONGTHONG''. a thong in lace slits down the side and bak lacey at da front.inspired by fongpei created by rach and pat.
diu rach! u need 2 get 1 of them fongpeis.

bleed the lizzard: piss, pee, urinate. only used for guys
"Hold on, dude. i gotta bleed the lizzard"

grunt-futtocked: It is what the population of the USA have done to the English language.
My god, the americans have grunt-futtocked the english language.

AND last but certainly not least... and obviously a homophobe...

Basketball: The best sport in the world
Hockey sucks(its gone and i love it)
Soccer is for puccys
Baseball another puccy sport were bitches have to take steriods to get strong.
Football another good sport.No puccys and no faggots who have to take steriods.

a faggot would say "lets go play (baseball,hockey,soccer).A normal person would say
"lets go play basketball"

Poker - Pooh and tits

2005-07-13T06:22:00.000-05:00

I went to Chuck's parents a few months ago where I was introduced to poker. That's right, I've played many a card game in my life, but for some reason I was never around the game poker. I remember endless nights hanging out with my friends playing spades and rummie (sp?). We'd get around the table, have some drinks, chat all night, and in between games go out to the balcony for a cig. Oh, and then there were the drinking games that dealt with cards... all I can say is those nights got pretty wild. To this day my friend Rachel will almost always bring up a time where after we were drunk from a game night we turned on the TV at like 5am and Winnie the Pooh was on and for some reason I started talking about Pooh and tits... and then ended up laying my head on her big boobies. Who knows why we do the things we do when we are drunk, lol....

Anyways, in a way I wish I could get that group of friends together again. Both Rachel's in my life knew how to play some good games. Dawn and Billy... great at Uno... Andrea and Megan, great at spades... Anyways, I need to find some people that live in my area for some hanging out and playing some poker since I'm trying to get the hang of it. Most of my friends who I could play cards with aren't in the area anymore. Most are in DC (and when in DC they tend to get rid of their cars). And Dawn and Billy... out in west VA (although I just got word Billy is moving closer as his job is much closer now). Dawn, if you are reading this.. you better move closer too.

BOOM & Sennheiser

2005-07-06T15:20:00.000-05:00

A post a little about me....

When I was younger I had surgery on my ears because they kept on getting infected and I had issues with my eardrums. After that point I could hear things no one else could. It was actually an issue growing up because people could not whisper around me without me hearing what they were saying. Now time has passed and my ears have settled to a more average level. Part of that is because when I got my first car I went into audio competitions. You know, the kind where you see guys playing their stereo systems so loud you can feel them miles away... well I had the same thing going on. I was proud of my car hooked up with the best shit. And then I was nicknamed "BOOM" by my friends. Later in life it stuck and there was a time I was on IRC chat and I would enter the room of my peers and they would play sound files like "BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM, I want you in my room..." or "BOOM shake shake shake the room..." and other songs with more explicit lyrics all containing the word BOOM.

During this time I became extremely picky with sound quality. I still am. While I may not compete anymore, my car can sound as good as an orchestra, or as loud and thumping as a club. I have some very expensive components and in my opinion (although it is biased) is one of the best sounding systems I have ever heard. It's not all about the 'BOOM' anymore, but about detail. But if I want to show off, it's just a setting away to make the sub shake the cars around me.

Since I have a job that is pretty quiet (except New Yorker next to me), I have headphones and a nice supply of music to keep me awake. My old headphones which were nothing special ended up dieing recently. There was a short in the wire and I could only hear out of one side. I went and bought some Sony headphones that I heard great reviews on. They were really cool in design. Earplugs that costed $50 basically meant for an IPOD user. They sounded ok, but honestly I thought my old headphones sounded better. They were to sharp and sounded like the music was screeching out of them at times. I returned them to the store and said they sucked as the reason for the return. In there place I got $60 Sennheiser headphones. I wasn't to crazy about there design. After all, the earplugs go inside the ears and are hidden pretty well. These new ones would look like I was Princess Lia each time I put them on. But let me just say, it is probably the best $60 dollars I have ever spent. Now I'm young and don't have excess money to throw around on the $300 dollar ones... and I'm sure those sound amazing and probably better then mine. BUT I will say they are probably the best sound I have heard in a long time!

I've been to many places and heard many systems. Tested many speakers, receivers... been around the block in the audio world. When I put these babies on, it's another world. The sound is so clear and detailed. And they still thump like a mother fucker. They go extremely high and low and well shake your ears if you want them to. And you'll hear things in music you've never heard before. The softest notes, those background noises and singers all come alive and sound like the way they should have (except now I notice really easily badly recorded tracks and the limits of mp3's). I'm surprised I lived this long without them. Ok, enough of the commercial... but I will say that if you are ever in the market for new headphones and don't mind $60.00 bucks, give these a try. I seriously doubt you'll be sorry and you'll be thanking me later. The model is HD 212Pro.

If you drive a fast car...

2005-07-01T07:49:00.000-05:00

.. you are probably not gay... well maybe not. Or maybe you drive that Bettle/Jetta to it's 110 mph limit, but that isn't a true fast car. Do you think there are stereotypical cars for different sets of people? I remember in high school a lot of the girls drove Geo Storms and people would call it a girls car. Is there such thing as a gay car? What do most fags drive or want to drive? I'm curious to see what the responces would be. I think anything VW and you can almost bet the guy or girl behind the wheel is gay/lesbian. Is there a car out there that just sets your gaydar off?

Tell me on a Sunday

2005-06-26T19:37:00.000-05:00

Had a pretty bad morning and been kinda depressed lately. Work and other things have really almost bitch slapped me, and my esteem is low. To be a gemini tho at this moment I'm feeling better. I took 2 Excedin and they have kicked in. Yesterday the bed came and the poor delivery guys... it's so much bigger then I remember! When they first put it together in the spot I picked for it, the bedroom door wouldn't close... then they couldn't put the metal canopy on top because of the gay track lighting in my room would be in the way. I told them after they were here for over 2 hours trying to get it to work in the room that I would figure something out later. They left and my hell began. The bed in my mind must weigh close to 1000 pounds I'm guessing. It's solid as fuck. And here I am taking it apart to try to move it around. Oh, and to make matters worst the dresser (which is 6 drawers) doesn't come apart. The drawers are stuck in it. So it must weigh a shit load. My room was a mess and nothing seemed to be fitting at all anymore. After about 3 hours at this point (and about 7 hours of physical none stop labor early prepping the room) and a loss of 90% of my water weight I got the room managable, and afterwards some of the worst pain I have ever had on my back. I was stiff as a board yesterday. I can move about ok today, although a few hours again I had a sharp pain and suddenly thought to myself 'I hope I'm not having a heart attack!'. So I took some pills and now they have kicked in.

After all the hard work it has paid off. The room looks amazing. Without a doubt one of the nicest bedrooms I have ever stepped foot into. I'm proud and it looks like a room out of MTV's Cribs. I can't wait to have company over to show it off.

This morning I lost a piece of my heart but I'm not gonna talk about it here. I'm depressed and trying to forget so that I can move on. I hope tomorrow is a new and better day.

I need to find a hobby so that I can focus on other things and get out. Maybe go and take pictures of the mountains.. play piano (keyboard at the apartment, but I have a piano waiting at my mom's for when we move to a more permanant location). Pianos are a bitch to move.. not sure if the bed is worst or not, LOL.

I'm random right now... I'll post some pics really soon of the new room. I took them tonight, but I'm being lazy about uploading them :-P

Birthday Love

2005-06-23T12:40:00.000-05:00

I had a nice birthday weekend. I was sorta hush hush about things because it's the big 3 1 . Took 2 days off of work so I had a 4 day weekend, and Chuck and I hung out together. It was really nice, but I gotta say I'm having a really hard time with this I love you thing. I said it the other day and apparently I said it again a few minutes later and Chuck came out with "Billy, you just said it 5 minutes ago!". I was kinda hurt by that. But he was right. I'm having a hard time remembering not to say it as much.

I read all of your comments (I couldn't believe how many I got on that post!), and all of them I took in. I hope Chuck isn't falling out of love with me, or feel uncomfortable when I say it. I'm guessing I just start getting on his nerves that I say it so often. Doesn't that sound weird though? I mean I know guys out there who would love to hear those words with meaning behind them, and here my BF tells me I'm saying it to much. I'm often tempted to use Spencer's question "You don't like hearing that from me?".. but I know him well enough to know his reaction would be "You just say it all the time..."

I'm having a shitty day at work. My group got yelled at for failing an audit. The sad part about it is that none of it is our fault. If we were told to do things correctly the first time around none of this would have happened and we wouldn't have failed. Basically we were told to do things one way, and not until very recently we were told that it was the wrong way to do it. So I feel the blaim should not be put on us. My manager even had the nerve to say "This is going to hurt your next performance apprasels". I almost wish that I could go to someone and let them know that we are getting screwed for something that was beyond our control.

Luckily the weekend is almost here. We should get the bed this weekend too (hopefully). But with the way my luck has been lately I'll probably get screwed some how there too.

At least I had a great past weekend and some wonderful memories to last a lifetime. Hope life is going well for you all out there in cyberland.

Gayday vs Gaydays

2005-06-17T05:40:00.000-05:00

I didn't realize there were 2 different groups of Gaydays out there doing things at Disney World. But in a way I'm sure this all had some drama behind it. This has now passed but I thought it was interesting how the 2 groups schedule seperate activities from each other. So which one is better??? And what a name "Doug Swallow" LOL

Here is a clip from mouseplanet.com

For the 15th consecutive year, Gay Day is being held at Walt Disney World. As has been the case in recent years, two competing groups will be holding events this year. However, this time they will be hosting events in different parks on the same day.

Doug Swallow, who originated the event back in 1991, has listed the following park schedule on his GayDay.com (singular) site:

Thursday, June 2 – Disney–MGM Studios, Cirque du Soleil
Friday, June 3 – Golf at Eagle Pines course, Epcot, late–night Typhoon Lagoon
Saturday, June 4 – Islands of Adventure, late–night Disney–MGM Studios
Sunday, June 5 – Magic Kingdom
Monday, June 6 – Disney's Animal Kingdom
Many other events are listed on that site. The GayDay.com event headquarters is at the Wyndham Palace resort on Hotel Plaza Boulevard.

Chris Alexander–Manley, who arguably turned Gay Day(s) into a major event starting in 1998, lists the following park events on his GayDays.com (plural) site:

Thursday, June 2 – Disney's Animal Kingdom
Friday, June 3 – Disney–MGM Studios, late–night Typhoon Lagoon
Saturday, June 4 – Magic Kingdom, late–night Disney–MGM Studios
Sunday, June 5 – Epcot

I thought this was kinda cute...

No more "I love yous"

2005-06-14T09:20:00.000-05:00

Got a question and really want to know how you all feel... Do you believe that you can say "I love you" so much that it loses it's meaning? I've had this issue with Chuck because I tend to say it frequently. He has told me that I say it to often and it loses it's meaning because of that. It's hard to hold back from saying it sometimes, but I'm trying. I can respect him by not saying it as much since he feels that way.

And I'm not trying to say it's right or wrong in this post. Just wanna get the opinion of others. I would just say it whenever I felt it, LOL... so I guess I felt it often.

Ass holes like this...

2005-06-12T10:21:00.000-05:00

need to be shot... I was called by my ex Kevin a few weeks ago telling me my picture was on a big gay website of profiles for hung guys. He couldn't remember the exact link that day, but he called me to worn me that he saw my pic and asked why I was posting such a profile since I had Chuck. I told him I didn't have anything like that up and it was probably somebody pretending to be me. This isn't the first time this has happened, and I'm sure it won't be the last.

A few days ago I talked with Kevin again and found out the link was www.hungguyz.com . So I went there and sure enough there was my pic, and it stating "Below are just a few of the hot hung guyz with personal ads on our site". So I wrote the website owners and got this responce...

Here is the email address associated with that photo & ad profile:
kodiakcope4me@yahoo.com and the guy states that he is located in Chicago, IL.

Does that email address belong to you?

Please advise.

Regards,
Jim and Patrick
Your Webhosts

Personal Ads For
Well Endowed Men: http://www.HungGuyz.com

Ofcourse it doesn't.. so I wrote the guy and did some research. The guy is 29 years old and here is his real picture that I googled...

I told him he needs to stop this shit. I could say something very mean right now, but I'll hold my thoughts to myself. I will say this is pathetic that people like this have to use my pictures. Enough said.

Thankfully they have taken it down ...

We have removed the photo and personal ad in question from our site and from our
database permanently. This our standard policy any time we receive an email like
this. As you know, we have no way of knowing who may send us a fake photo.

Regards,
Jim and Patrick
Your Webhosts

Personal Ads For
Well Endowed Men: http://www.HungGuyz.com

His 1st Huge Cock - Gay
Reality: http://www.His1stHugeCock.com